# Arse **URL:** \ **Category:** random\ **Created:** [March 13, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419 "2003-03-13T23:51:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/21 "2003-03-14T11:07:54Z")
Welcome back Kit šŸ˜› **Rimmer** : My mind is so numb and brain-dead, I feel like Iā€™ve just attended a 3 day seminar entitled ā€˜The Future of Plumbingā€™. Have you any idea how irritating you have just been? Youā€™re a master, there are things you could teach to tropical skin diseases. šŸ™‚ Oh btw Kit, read your PM! šŸ™‚ - Soul :goatee: ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:11am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/22 "2003-03-14T11:11:39Z")
\Kryten\ ā€œItā€™s the old, old story - droid meets droid, droid becomes chameleon, droid loses chameleon, chameleon turns into blob, droid gets blob back again. Blob meets blob, blob goes off with blob and droid loses blob, chameleon and droid. How many times have we seen that story?ā€ [SIZE=1]Curse workā€¦ So much to do so little timeā€¦[/SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/23 "2003-03-14T11:16:25Z")
Heh good one Kit šŸ˜‰ **Holly** : We have three realistic alternatives: (1) Sit here and get blown up, (2) Stand here and get blown up, (3) Jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up. - Soul :goatee: ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/24 "2003-03-14T11:35:13Z")
Dont mean to intrude on this but i thought you be interested to know that i am going to doing a presentation to the commisioning editor of red dwarf. Thats the guy that made it possible. should be interesting meeting him. :tie: ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/25 "2003-03-14T11:36:00Z")
Iā€™ve got a better oneā€¦ \Justice Computer\ ā€œWould you describe the accused as a friend?ā€ \Lister\ ā€œNo, Iā€™d describe the accused as a git.ā€ \Justice Computer\ ā€œAre there no others who have shared moments of intimacy with him?ā€ \Lister\ ā€œOnly one, but sheā€™s got a puncture.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/26 "2003-03-14T11:39:02Z")
lol good one Kit, donā€™t remember seeing that Episode, which was it? šŸ™‚ - Soul :goatee: ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/27 "2003-03-14T11:47:14Z")
Itā€™s from series 4, called Justiceā€¦ Thereā€™s a planet with a justice field in it, so everything you do comes back at you. Thereā€™s a mad simulant involved too. Rimmer gets locked up for killing the entire crew of Red Dwarf, and the rest of them have to get him out of it. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/28 "2003-03-14T11:47:34Z")
**Lister** : Thereā€™s got to be a way out. There hasnā€™t been a prison built that could hold Derek Custer. Why donā€™t we scrape away this mortar here, slide one of these bricks out, then using a rope weaved from strands of this hessian, rip up a kind of a pulley system so that when a guard comes in, using it as a trip wire, gets laid out, and we put Rimmer in the guardā€™s uniform, he leads us out, we steal some swords, and fight our way back to the 'bug. **Kryten** : Or we could use the teleporter. :crazy: - Soul :goatee: ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/29 "2003-03-14T11:53:05Z")
Ahh yeh, I remember it now. I like that episode where they ar ein the virtual reality! šŸ™‚ Tis funny! - Soul :goatee: (ā€¦Its cold outsideā€¦) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/30 "2003-03-14T11:54:05Z")
\Lister\ ā€œAnd you canā€™t confuse Rimmer with a book, for a start, a bookā€™s got a spine.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/31 "2003-03-14T11:56:26Z")
So who knows where in the US one can see Red Dwarf. I donā€™t get BBC2ā€¦ or even 1. I have a hundred stationsā€¦ but nothing that plays such Brit humor. Canā€™t even catch old doctor who episodes. WHERE HAS ALL THE CULTURE GONE??? ah wellā€¦ Iā€™ll wait. Eventually Iā€™ll get to see it. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/32 "2003-03-14T12:03:32Z")
I believe that Rev knows where you can catch it. Heā€™s a big Red Dwarf fan. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 12:06pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/33 "2003-03-14T12:06:24Z")
Order the DVD or something David, its worth it šŸ™‚ - Soul :goatee: ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/34 "2003-03-14T13:43:57Z")
this should cheer you all upā€¦ Its cold outside, Thereā€™s no kind of atmosphere, Iā€™m all alone, More or less. Let me fly, Far away from here, Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun. I want to lie, Shipwrecked and comotoase, Drinking fresh, Mango juice, Goldfish shoals, Nibbling at my toes, Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun, Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun. ![](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/matt.kenyon/mariosmily.gif) mariofan ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/35 "2003-03-14T13:53:32Z")
I can go one betterā€¦ šŸ™‚ \ā€œTongue Tiedā€ lyrics\ (complete smeg mix): When I saw you for the first time (first time) My knees began to quiver (quiver) And I got a funny feeling (feeling) In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system, baby) My hands they started shaking (shaking) My heart began a-thumping (boom boom boom) My breakfast left my body (hooey hooey hooey) It all really tells me something Now girl you make me tongue tied (tongue tied) Tongue tied Whenever you are near me (near me) Tied tongue (tied tongue) Tied tongue (tied tongue) Whenever youā€™re in town (in town) You make me feel a clown, girl Yes, you make me tongue tongue (tied tied) Tongue tied Why canā€™t I tell you clearly (clearly) Tied tied tongue tongue (tongue tied, tongue tied) Whenever youā€™re around I saw you across the dance floor (dancing) I thought of birds and bees (reproductive system, baby) But when I tried to speak to you (talk talk) My tongue unraveled to my knees (flippity flippity flop) I tried to say I love you (love you) But it came out kind of wrong, girl (wrong, girl) It sounded like nunubididoo (tongue tied) Nuh-nuh-murni-nong-nurl Itā€™s cause you make me tongue tied (tongue tied) Tongue tied Whenever you are near me (near me) A-nurmi murmi (nurmi murmi) Murmi nurmi (murmi nurmi) Whenever youā€™re in town (in town) My trousers they go brown, girl Yes, you make me nongy-nangy (nangy-nongy) Tongue tied Why canā€™t I tell you clearly (clearly) Bee-dobby durgle dobby durgle (Tongue tied, tongue tied) Whenever youā€™re around Oh Iā€™m begging on my knees Sweet, sweet darling listen please Understand me when I say Gur-durble diggle doggle niggle fauggle nibble nay Iā€™m trying to say Iā€™m tongue tied (tongue tied) Tongue tied Whenever you are near me (near me) A-nurmi murmi (nurmi murmi) Murmi nurmi (murmi nurmi) Whenever youā€™re in town (in town) I feel so much I drown, girl Yes, you make me nongy-nangy (nangy-nongy) Ningy-nongy Why canā€™t I tell you clearly (clearly) Bee-dobby durgle (dobby durgle) Durgle dobby (Durgle dobby) Whenever youā€™re around (around) Whenever youā€™re around, girl ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/36 "2003-03-14T17:03:46Z")
Good morning everybodyā€¦ thanks for the laughsā€¦ Long live the Dwarf! Rev ![](http://www.aulman.com/rev.gif) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419/37 "2003-03-14T17:24:17Z")
Morning? Iā€™m going to leave work for the day in a minute or two. šŸ™‚ Thought you might appreciate the dwarfisms. šŸ™‚ [Previous page](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/arse/15419.md?page=1)