My favorites in bold,
• In New Orleans, a 20-year-old man in the midst of a sex change when Hurricane Katrina hit was arrested when he didn’t know what sex he was at the time of the hurricane and took a shower in a women’s shower room.
• In Elkhart, Ind., a Notre Dame football fan was so afraid he might not get his tickets in time for a game that he hired a special delivery service to personally bring the tickets to him. He never got them. The girlfriend of the courier stole them first.
• In Los Angeles, model and talk-show hostess Tyra Banks asked a medical doctor to appear on her talk show to first feel her breasts and then perform a televised sonogram to prove her breasts were not fake. “Tyra Banks has natural breasts; there are no implants,” proclaimed Dr. Garth Fisher, to the relief of the crowd.
• At a grade school in Lansing, Mich., a fifth-grader with allergies to milk products was told he nonetheless would have to have a doctor’s order to be able to drink only water at lunch.
• In Fife, Wash., two men trying to steal a power line in the hopes of selling parts of it as scrap metal were electrocuted.
• At an airport in Reno, Nev., a woman was booted from a Southwest Airlines flight after passengers complained they were offended by her T-shirt which bore pictures of President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and the movie-popularized phrase, "Meet the Fockers."
• In Newport Beach, Calif., because sea lions also like dryness to dry out their coats, 18 of them – each weighing about 800 pounds – piled into a 1910 37-foot sailboat that was floating far out in a marina. And they sank it.
• An ornamental grass that was supposed to make the entrance to the student center at Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa, smell like jasmine and lavender had to be moved after the smell became so offensive some students began wearing gas masks when attempting to enter the center.
• In Lakeland, Fla., a homeless woman who found a zippered bank bag containing $800 turned it in because, as she later explained to officials, it wasn’t hers.
• A 49-year-old man in Pensacola, Fla., stole a gas station employee’s car but made a bigger mistake an hour later when, after discovering the car had hardly any gas, he returned to the gas station to fill the tank. Coincidentally, police were there and they arrested him.
• In Houston, admitting it was a way to save money, officials acknowledged that Texans who telephoned a help line about assistance and shelter during Hurricane Rita were actually speaking to a call center in Gandhinagar, India.
• In Aspen, Colo., where real-estate costs are among the nation’s highest, the Aspen Board of Realtors office was forced to move to a neighboring town because it could no longer afford a place in Aspen.
• In Metairie, La., just six days after Hurricane Katrina blasted the Gulf Coast, two Louisiana lawyers filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in Washington D.C. to sell Katrina-brand, “Get Blown Away” beer.