# CV of the Year

**URL:** <https://forum.kirupa.com/t/cv-of-the-year/53427>\
**Category:** random\
**Created:** [June 3, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/cv-of-the-year/53427 "2004-06-03T16:38:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Jasninder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Jasninder](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Jasninder)\
**Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/cv-of-the-year/53427/1 "2004-06-03T16:38:04Z")

</div>

[font=Tahoma][size=3]This Kid will go far…[/size][/font]

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[font=Tahoma]_This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!_[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **NAME** : Greg Bulmash.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **SEX:** Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DESIRED POSITION:** Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DESIRED SALARY:** $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. [/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **EDUCATION:** Yes. [/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **LAST POSITION HELD:** Target for middle management hostility.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **SALARY:** Less than I’m worth.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:** My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **REASON FOR LEAVING:** It sucked.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **AVAILABLE FOR WORK:** Of course. That’s why I’m applying.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **PREFERRED HOURS:** 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:** Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:** If I had one, would I be here?[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50lbs?:** 50lbs. of what?[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:** I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:** I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DO YOU SMOKE?:** On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:** Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:** Yes. Absolutely.[/font]

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[font=Tahoma] **SIGN HERE:** Aries.[/font]

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😃