# Disorder in the court :D
**URL:** https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876
**Category:** random
**Created:** [May 14, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876 "2003-05-14T11:18:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 11
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Lunar\_4u](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Lunar_4u)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/1 "2003-05-14T11:18:11Z")
Lol the last one is funny 🙂
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people
actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by
court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don’t miss the
last one.
* * *
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
* * *
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
* * *
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
* * *
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve
forgotten?
* * *
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
* * *
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
* * *
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
* * *
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
* * *
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
* * *
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
* * *
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
* * *
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
* * *
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
* * *
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
* * *
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
* * *
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
* * *
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
* * *
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
* * *
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
* * *
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/2 "2003-05-14T11:22:07Z")
lol!! :beam: Funny stuff 🙂 I like the last one 😉
- Soul :s:
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 11:23am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/3 "2003-05-14T11:23:42Z")
Hialarious :beam:
It’s actually sad - that those people actually practice law!!!
D 😛
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/4 "2003-05-14T11:24:11Z")
I love that last one. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 11:30am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/5 "2003-05-14T11:30:26Z")
LMAO! Funny funny funny stuff!
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/6 "2003-05-14T11:47:05Z")
Excellent! 🙂
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/7 "2003-05-14T12:15:43Z")
> \*Originally posted by Lunar\_4u \*
> \*\*
* * *
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
* * *
\*\*
hahaha, omg, i think i just peed myself laughing so hard!!! nice job loonoor
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/8 "2003-05-14T12:19:32Z")
> _Lunar\_4u posted funny sh_t \*
> Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
> autopsy?
> A: No.
> Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. \*\*
mmmm brains… This is so cool! nice one Lunar!
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/9 "2003-05-14T12:21:03Z")
> Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
HAHAAA
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/10 "2003-05-14T12:21:54Z")
> \*Originally posted by golgi \*
> \*\*hahaha, omg, i think i just peed myself laughing so hard!!! nice job loonoor \*\*
Me too, this one is great! They all gave me a weird look in the office. 😛
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/disorder-in-the-court-d/20876/11 "2003-05-14T15:10:39Z")
"Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
"
I love that one! lol
Oral.