# Divorce Sucks
**URL:** https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081
**Category:** Uncategorized
**Created:** [March 12, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081 "2004-03-12T04:57:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/21 "2004-08-04T04:40:07Z")
No, man you said nothing offensive. Right now, at this point I do not even know **how** to talk to her. I saw a different side of her. A very **dark** side. All macho BS aside, I am afraid of her (or them, or whatever).
This is a bit more complicated than a “hey what’s up”
phone call.
She has a wonderful, loving family that is taking care of her. I got an update today actually that she is ok.
“Bipolar” That is a term that someone made up… I don’t care who you are, one cannot argue that the human brain is a bit more complicated.
That term does not mean ONE thing. The illness that you have (and I am \*\*very sorry \*\* by the way) and hers are two different animals. There are many details about this, of course…purposly left out.
I am sorry to hear that you have been branded “Bipolar” my friend.
**You will be in my prayers**
[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=7]\*\*
Jah lives!\*\*[/SIZE][/COLOR]
\>\>\>\>\> :snooze: JM :snooze: \<\<\<\<\<\<
[COLOR=DarkRed]((((( I like your Batman Av too, bro… :beam: ))))[/COLOR]
---
### Author:  [@msgjm](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/msgjm)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 4:44am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/22 "2004-08-04T04:44:30Z")
“she isnt really responsible for it when mood swings occur you have no thought and dont think anything is wrong” “everyone deserves a second chance”
Nicely put. It takes a whole network of people and an excellent team of professionals to support a bi-polar individual. Love and support from family, friends, support groups, husbands, wives, etc. is essential to the overall well being of that person. As far as the comments concerning the wife apologizing to jay-em, I have to wonder if she has done that. Has she jay-em? I would imagine a complete absence in communication from the husband would make it difficult.
What a trying situation.
---
### Author:  [@lunatic](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/lunatic)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/23 "2004-08-04T04:46:12Z")
Complete absence? He got an update from her family today . . .
---
### Author:  [@msgjm](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/msgjm)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/24 "2004-08-04T04:50:42Z")
> [@lunatic](#):
>
> Complete absence? He got an update from her family today . . .
Really…
---
### Author:  [@lunatic](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/lunatic)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/25 "2004-08-04T04:58:09Z")
I guess I just see it as a sign that he still cares about her and what happens to her because he is obtaining information. Its at least a step towards reconciliation don’t you think?
---
### Author:  [@msgjm](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/msgjm)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/26 "2004-08-04T14:09:05Z")
> [@lunatic](#):
>
> I guess I just see it as a sign that he still cares about her and what happens to her because he is obtaining information. Its at least a step towards reconciliation don’t you think?
Possibly. When I posted earlier, I just happened to be typing at the same time as Jay-em and didn’t realize he’d gotten an update. I just hope it works out for the best. I feel that God can through curve balls at people for reasons we dont know. Maybe it is best that Jay-em and his wife got divorced. Who knows.
---
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/27 "2004-08-04T15:26:32Z")
Everything has its purpose.
We shall find out.
Deep down, beyond her opal black eyes…lies an angel.
A child of God, the woman I love…
I **do not** look down on her.
A relationship of any kind is built on trust.
I cannot trust her…
Could any of you?
We will always be connected, we were joined as ONE.
I did not choose to give up, I was forced too.
[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=5]Thanks again Kirupians… Your words are appreciated.
ALL OF YOU[/SIZE][/COLOR]
---
### Author:  [@VDaminator](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/VDaminator)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/28 "2004-08-04T16:12:10Z")
> [@jay-em](#):
>
> “Bipolar” That is a term that someone made up… I don’t care who you are, one cannot argue that the human brain is a bit more complicated.
> That term does not mean ONE thing. The illness that you have (and I am \*\*very sorry \*\*by the way) and hers are two different animals. There are many details about this, of course…purposly left out.
I wouldn’t say they are two different animals as much as mine was recognized and gotten under control at a younger age as time progresses it gets worse. Nonetheless you as well will be in my prayers as well best of luck to you.
---
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/29 "2004-08-05T14:35:19Z")
> [@VDaminator](#):
>
> I wouldn’t say they are two different animals as much as mine was recognized and gotten under control at a younger age as time progresses it gets worse. Nonetheless you as well will be in my prayers as well best of luck to you.
I hope you did not take that the wrong way my friend. I am glad that you got your condition under control at a young age. If she had done that, then the illness would not have turned into such dreadful things. What makes you two “different animals” is the fact that you were lucky enough to have loved ones smart enough to get you help… In her situation, it was hidden and pacified until it was simply too late.
**[COLOR=DarkOrange][SIZE=4]Thanks for your prayers, and you hang in there VDaminator!![/SIZE][/COLOR]**
::jM… 👁
---
### Author:  [@msgjm](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/msgjm)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/30 "2004-08-06T21:46:57Z")
Simply too late for what?
---
### Author:  [@Disco\_Stu1](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Disco_Stu1)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/31 "2004-08-06T22:24:10Z")
Geez. Sometimes life throws your curveballs… and then somtimes life gives you an ancient volcanic crater that bursts out of the pitching mount and kills everyone in the stadium. Good luck man.
---
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/32 "2004-08-09T15:07:58Z")
> [@msgjm](#):
>
> Simply too late for what?
\*\*
Too late to save the marriage…
Too late to protect her…
Too late to have the children that I dream of…
Too late to look into her eyes and see pureness agin…
Too late for a white pickett fence…\*\*
There were many instances and dangers that she faced in the past (before me) that could have been prevented if the illness were caught early. From what I have been told by her family, it seems as if all the people that were in a position to help were in denial and **did not want to face the truth**. They should have helped thier daughter a **long** time ago. A parents’ love differs from a husbands’. Both are unconditional, but in different ways.
I am forced to love from a distance. They are not…
After being institutionalized **so** many times, one would figure that a parent would do what was needed in order to correct the problem. I do understand that denial is not a thing that can be controlled sometimes. I stongly believe that her illness came **directly** from her Mother. So, it is very possible that her Mother’s mental state was not healthy enough to cope with the madness through all those years. \*\*Only God knows why… \*\*
* * *
On another note… Anyone that is too swamped for small projects, please
email me and let me absorb… I need all the financial help I can get at the moment.
* * *
I still look for her when I wake up in the morning… I roll over in bed, and for a split second, I feel her with me… Then, I realize the truth… **I am alone.** In most cases, true love only comes once… Some of you may never see it… I have, and it was taken away…
What was it that sucked the angel out of her?
She looked like a demon…
caged up in a cell
head shaved
eyes black
somebody elses clothes on
laughing
There were some witnesses there that believe a demon of sorts had taken her soul…
I didn’t believe in that stuff…
Until now…
Later Ki-Rups!
---
### Author:  [@VDaminator](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/VDaminator)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/33 "2004-08-09T15:25:05Z")
Perhaps I am to forgiving but being able to look at it from both point of views I think that classyifying her as a demon is very wrong. She is about as responsible for this as you are for the sky being blue sure it would have helped if her parents had caught this earlier but they didnt but the fact is it needs to be taken care of now. Maybe this is just me but in your vows you promised to stick with eachother through sickness and health this is a sickness. I know this isn’t my choice and I understand how you feel like love was taken away from you but it is possible to get it back just because she seems different the women you love is still inside trust me you just have to get through to her.
---
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/34 "2004-08-09T15:41:31Z")
> [@VDaminator](#):
>
> Perhaps I am to forgiving but being able to look at it from both point of views I think that classyifying her as a demon is very wrong. She is about as responsible for this as you are for the sky being blue sure it would have helped if her parents had caught this earlier but they didnt but the fact is it needs to be taken care of now. Maybe this is just me but in your vows you promised to stick with eachother through sickness and health this is a sickness. I know this isn’t my choice and I understand how you feel like love was taken away from you but it is possible to get it back just because she seems different the women you love is still inside trust me you just have to get through to her.
I agree 100% with every word that you just typed. I suppose that i was just venting. Today is a “down day” for me. I miss her more than ever. You are right V. That post was my mind flowing @ random… I am using this thread as somewhat of an outlet. Just a bad day bro. I am in grief. Still confused… Still asking why… BUT God has my back and will not let me fall.
msgjm=“split”… Well, me too
JM
---
### Author:  [@VDaminator](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/VDaminator)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/35 "2004-08-09T16:31:18Z")
yeah…I understand 100% with how you are feeling I just was letting you know that it is never to late and if you love her that much you should use that love to help her through these times. Dont worry though no matter what happens I am sure God as well as the kirupa forums have your back.
---
### Author:  [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/36 "2004-08-09T16:56:12Z")
> [@jay-em](#):
>
> \*\*
> Too late to save the marriage…
> Too late to protect her…
> Too late to have the children that I dream of…
> Too late to look into her eyes and see pureness agin…
> Too late for a white pickett fence…\*\*
>
> There were many instances and dangers that she faced in the past (before me) that could have been prevented if the illness were caught early. From what I have been told by her family, it seems as if all the people that were in a position to help were in denial and **did not want to face the truth**. They should have helped thier daughter a **long** time ago. A parents’ love differs from a husbands’. Both are unconditional, but in different ways.
> I am forced to love from a distance. They are not…
> After being institutionalized **so** many times, one would figure that a parent would do what was needed in order to correct the problem. I do understand that denial is not a thing that can be controlled sometimes. I stongly believe that her illness came **directly** from her Mother. So, it is very possible that her Mother’s mental state was not healthy enough to cope with the madness through all those years. \*\*Only God knows why… \*\*
>
> * * *
>
> On another note… Anyone that is too swamped for small projects, please
> email me and let me absorb… I need all the financial help I can get at the moment.
>
> * * *
>
> I still look for her when I wake up in the morning… I roll over in bed, and for a split second, I feel her with me… Then, I realize the truth… **I am alone.** In most cases, true love only comes once… Some of you may never see it… I have, and it was taken away…
>
> What was it that sucked the angel out of her?
> She looked like a demon…
> caged up in a cell
> head shaved
> eyes black
> somebody elses clothes on
> laughing
>
> There were some witnesses there that believe a demon of sorts had taken her soul…
> I didn’t believe in that stuff…
> Until now…
>
> Later Ki-Rups!
crap man I haven’t been following this thread in a while. sorry to hear all this man ☹
only thing i can really say is i’m sorry, and i’m sure things will end up ok. may take a while but this will only make you a stronger man.
were all here to help and talk dude… head up
---
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/37 "2004-08-09T17:44:55Z")
Thanks guys… Just a bad day. My faith will get me where I am going (wherever that may be)
:-/
JM
---
### Author:  [@msgjm](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/msgjm)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/38 "2004-08-10T04:15:07Z")
Yes it will. Biblically you are bound to this woman as is she to you. As a Christian, I can’t help but believe there is hope for this situation. God has a way of working on people’s hearts even when we don’t think it’s possible.
---
### Author:  [@krilnon](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/krilnon)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/39 "2004-08-10T04:31:08Z")
It sounds like even though this has really hurt you, you are still strong enough to continue living and working. I am really sorry for what has happened to you, and am amazed at how well (given the circumstances) you are handling this.
---
### Author:  [@jay\_em](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/jay_em)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2004, 11:57am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081/40 "2004-08-10T11:57:25Z")
> [@Krilnon](#):
>
> It sounds like even though this has really hurt you, you are still strong enough to continue living and working. I am really sorry for what has happened to you, and am amazed at how well (given the circumstances) you are handling this.
Thanks Kril… But credit goes to God. We as creations of a higher being do not have to handle things alone… Faith is my weapon.
I do, of course have bad days. Here recently, I feel the anger leaving me. Since the anger is almost gone, I find myself very lonely and confused. I find myself looking for the rewind button alot. But there is not one. I think of moving sometimes… This house holds many memories… Some of them I treasure, others are tormenting. I have learned not to fight. Similar to a drowning man. The trick is to acknowledge that you cannot make it to shore alone. Realize that the fierce attempt to swim on your own is a waste. Finally trust in the fact that you can relax and let the tide float you in. Be receptive… KNOW. Do not HOPE nor WISH… KNOW that you are going to be fine.
I kind of got another update… She is ok. Everyone reading this please pray for her.
JM
[Previous page](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/divorce-sucks/104081.md?page=1)