# Republican National Convention Schedule

**URL:** https://forum.kirupa.com/t/republican-national-convention-schedule/120808
**Category:** Uncategorized
**Created:** [August 27, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/republican-national-convention-schedule/120808 "2004-08-27T15:11:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![mjULTRA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@mjULTRA](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/mjULTRA)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/republican-national-convention-schedule/120808/1 "2004-08-27T15:11:56Z")

</div>

**REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION SCHEDULE New York, NY**

The RNC starts today, and i somehow managed to get a copy of their itinerary for the day. Looks to be pretty packed… Here’s a breakdown…

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell  
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance  
6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)  
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing  
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on “Are Elections Really Necessary?”  
7:30 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan  
7:35 PM Trent Lott “Re-segregation in the 21st Century”  
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It’s What’s for Dinner  
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next  
8:10 PM Call for EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney  
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children  
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)  
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future  
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings “Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man”  
9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on “Why Women Shouldn’t Be Leaders”  
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires  
9:30 PM break for secret meetings  
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas  
10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple  
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside  
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark “deer in headlights” stare  
10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt  
10:45 PM GOP’s Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & CondiRice  
10:46 PM Ann Coulter’s Tribute to “Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot”  
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation’s Economy  
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata  
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult  
11:30 PM Call for EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney  
11:35 PM Blame Clinton  
11:40 PM Newt Gingrich speaks on “The Sanctity of Marriage”  
11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore  
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself  
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

:trout: