# The Best Resignation Letter Ever

**URL:** <https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-best-resignation-letter-ever/108978>\
**Category:** random\
**Created:** [April 30, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-best-resignation-letter-ever/108978 "2004-04-30T13:04:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![fester8542](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a183cd/32.png) [@fester8542](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/fester8542)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-best-resignation-letter-ever/108978/1 "2004-04-30T13:04:55Z")

</div>

Another great email I thought I would share

* * *

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers,USA, to  
her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very  
basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an  
intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your  
consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the  
commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few  
true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of  
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only  
a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because  
I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to  
provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly  
attempt to understand the concept of “cut and paste” for the hundredth  
time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple  
as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand  
why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even  
though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP  
is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in  
others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have  
worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility,  
you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for  
your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the  
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full  
frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I  
have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for  
you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is “I  
prefer not to comment.” I will have friends randomly call you over the  
next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be  
unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know  
every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get  
cute, I am going to publish your “favorites list”, which I conveniently  
saved when you made me “back up” your useless files. I do believe that  
terms like “Lolita” are not usually viewed favorably by the  
administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to “take pictures of your Mother’s  
birthday”, you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of  
yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the  
techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd  
acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and  
kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of  
recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct  
your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my  
desk by 8:00 amtomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your  
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

Never f\*\*\* with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what  
you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day Cecelia