# The English Language

**URL:** <https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-english-language/146632>\
**Category:** Uncategorized\
**Created:** [May 3, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-english-language/146632 "2005-05-03T02:40:52Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Vexir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a183cd/32.png) [@Vexir](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Vexir)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-english-language/146632/1 "2005-05-03T02:40:52Z")

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Omg lmao:

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE  
\> Let’s face it.  
\> English is an odd language.  
\> There is no egg in the eggplant,  
\> No ham in the hamburger,  
\> And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.  
\> English muffins were not invented in England.  
\>  
\>  
\> French fries were not invented in France.  
\>  
\> We sometimes take English for granted,  
\> But if we examine its paradoxes we find that  
\> Quicksand takes you down slowly,  
\> Boxing rings are square,  
\> And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.  
\>  
\>  
\>  
\> If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.  
\> If the plural of tooth is teeth,  
\> Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?  
\> If the teacher taught,  
\> Why didn’t the preacher praught.  
\>  
\> If a vegetarian eats vegetables,  
\>  
\>  
\> What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?  
\> Why do people recite at a play,  
\> Yet play at a recital?  
\> Park on driveways and  
\> Drive on parkways?  
\>  
\> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy  
\> Of a language where a house can burn up as  
\>  
\>  
\> It burns down,  
\> And in which you fill in a form  
\> By filling it out,  
\> And a bell is only heard once it goes!  
\>  
\> English was invented by people, not computers,  
\> And it reflects the creativity of the human race  
\>  
\>  
\> (Which of course isn’t a race at all).