# The talking duck **URL:** \ **Category:** Uncategorized\ **Created:** [April 21, 2006, 8:44am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448 "2006-04-21T08:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RabBell](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/rabbell/32/340_2.png) [@RabBell](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/RabBell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 8:44am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/1 "2006-04-21T08:44:05Z")
This Duck walks into a bar, jumps up on to the bar and says, “I’ll have a beer” The barman is understandably amazed and gasps “God, a talking duck” The duck just stares at him and says “Yes I can talk, now can I get my beer” The barman pours the duck a beer and they start chatting “So what you doing round here then duck” “I work on the construction site down the road. I’m a plasterer and I’m gonna be there a few months. Just building those new houses” “Oh yeah, they look nice” So they talk for about an hour, the duck finishes his beer, says goodbye to the barman and leaves. The next day the same thing happens, the duck comes in, orders a beer, chats to the bartender for an hour and then leaves. This goes on for a few weeks and the duck becomes a regular of the bar. So one day the barman notices this guy at the end of the bar looking sad. “Hey buddy what’s up?” asks the barman “I got a problem. I work for the circus and we just came into town. I got to drum up business for us but we haven’t got a main attraction yet. We need a good one, a real show stopper and I can’t find anything”. The barman smiles and says, “Well you’re in luck my friend. Everyday at 1 o’clock a duck comes in here and orders a beer. After that we chat for about an hour”. “A talking duck…No way” “Honest, you hang around and you’ll see yourself” “Ok, I will ” So the circus guy hangs around and then 1 o’clock comes. The door opens and in waddles the duck, jumps on the bar and orders his beer. He drinks his beer, chats to the barman and at around 2, he leaves. The barman goes back to the circus guy and says “See, didn’t I tell you” “WOW, that’s amazing. We have to have him in our circus. Here’s a blank cheque. Give it to him tomorrow when he comes in. We got to get that guy, we’ll pay anything”. So the circus guy gives him the cheque and the barman tells him he’ll talk to the duck the next day. So the following day the duck comes back in, orders his beer and chats to the barman. Halfway through the chat the barman decides to mention the circus’s offer. “Guy in here yesterday gave me a blank cheque for you” “For me”, says the surprised duck, “what’s it for?” “It’s for doing a job,” replies the barman “For who?” “The circus” answers the barman. “The circus?” asks the duck “What the hell do the circus need with a plasterer?” ---
**Author:** ![Phenex](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/phenex/32/686_2.png) [@Phenex](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Phenex)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 8:47am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/2 "2006-04-21T08:47:28Z")
Unfunny and stale - Period. ---
**Author:** ![RabBell](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/rabbell/32/340_2.png) [@RabBell](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/RabBell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 8:56am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/3 "2006-04-21T08:56:24Z")
> [@thelonephoenix](#): > > Unfunny and stale - Period. oooooohhhhhhh, hark at her ---
**Author:** ![eilsoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc348/32.png) [@eilsoe](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/eilsoe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 8:57am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/4 "2006-04-21T08:57:05Z")
worst - ending - ever ---
**Author:** ![RabBell](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/rabbell/32/340_2.png) [@RabBell](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/RabBell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 8:59am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/5 "2006-04-21T08:59:04Z")
> [@Eilsoe](#): > > worst - ending - ever I know thats what makes it funny… tell this to someone, it’s a kick just to see how many people groan …going good on here so far, thats 2 ---
**Author:** ![Phenex](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/phenex/32/686_2.png) [@Phenex](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Phenex)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/6 "2006-04-21T09:30:45Z")
:lol: Dude you originally thought it was funny!!! \<— :lol: Now that you and your joke got PWND bigtime you’re acting as if you intended this to be a joke on everyone! Stop with it! :lol: ---
**Author:** ![footsie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@footsie](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/footsie)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 9:34am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/7 "2006-04-21T09:34:12Z")
^lol…puki stop being nasty :P…lol ---
**Author:** ![danulf](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/danulf/32/555_2.png) [@danulf](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/danulf)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 9:34am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/8 "2006-04-21T09:34:59Z")
hahahaha! :ninja: ---
**Author:** ![Phenex](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/phenex/32/686_2.png) [@Phenex](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Phenex)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 9:36am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/9 "2006-04-21T09:36:42Z")
> [@Footsie](#): > > ^lol…puki stop being nasty :P…lol OK. 🙂 RabBell… It’s a very good joke… [imlmao.com](http://imlmao.com) over it :lol: ---
**Author:** ![RabBell](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/rabbell/32/340_2.png) [@RabBell](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/RabBell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 10:06am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/10 "2006-04-21T10:06:17Z")
> [@thelonephoenix](#): > > :lol: > > Dude you originally thought it was funny!!! \<— :lol: > > Now that you and your joke got PWND bigtime you’re acting as if you intended this to be a joke on everyone! Stop with it! :lol: well I have told that joke to people a hundred times and it is a bad joke, I know people don’t like it…it is a big build up for a lame punchline, for the teller of the joke that makes it funny, for the person listening to it it sucks if I cared what people listening to it thought of it I’d stopped telling it long ago, big long story, bad punchline, theres a ton of jokes like it ---
**Author:** ![Sliker\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d26b3c/32.png) [@Sliker\_Hawk](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Sliker_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 10:12am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/11 "2006-04-21T10:12:42Z")
I think the duck’s human, and it’s got something to do with the way some central-midlanders (England) call people ‘duck’. Doesn’t _really_ improve it, though. ---
**Author:** ![RabBell](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/rabbell/32/340_2.png) [@RabBell](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/RabBell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 10:16am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/12 "2006-04-21T10:16:37Z")
no it’s really a duck jesus, just trying to tell a joke here people…ok, not a great one but I didn;t expect so much flak for it ---
**Author:** ![Phenex](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/phenex/32/686_2.png) [@Phenex](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Phenex)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 10:20am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/13 "2006-04-21T10:20:54Z")
I’m havin so much fun here… Thanks RabBell… Silver Kawk’s comment really made your joke worthwhile! :lol: ---
**Author:** ![RabBell](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/user_avatar/forum.kirupa.com/rabbell/32/340_2.png) [@RabBell](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/RabBell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 10:26am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/14 "2006-04-21T10:26:36Z")
no problem ducky 😉 ---
**Author:** ![fester8542](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a183cd/32.png) [@fester8542](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/fester8542)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/the-talking-duck/186448/15 "2006-04-21T16:40:05Z")
I love jokes like that. Its hysterical if you really sell the punchline HARD lol People ar elike WTF? and cant help but laugh