# Why did the chicken cross the road? **URL:** \ **Category:** random\ **Created:** [March 12, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301 "2003-03-12T20:44:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Makaveli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Makaveli](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Makaveli)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/1 "2003-03-12T20:44:41Z")
ok, so here is the age old question WHY did the chicken cross the road, and someone went through the trouble to ask many people why they thought the chicken crossed the road, here are the responses: * * * Why did the chicken cross the road? ACCORDING TO: GEORGE W. BUSH We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way, designed to bring greater services to the American people. BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? RALPH NADER The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. Sadly, the chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed to death by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN Why did the chicken cross the road? To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American, that’s why! RUSH LIMBAUGH I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with “crossing-the-road syndrome.” How much more of this can real Americans take?! Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. MARTHA STEWART No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious?! Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what they call it, people – the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly-harmless phrases like, “the other side.” DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I’ve not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world, a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. OPRAH WINFREY Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting but went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens, crossing roads in peace. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken. RONALD REAGAN Hunh, what chicken? CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? JOHNNY COCHRAN Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit that chicken tonite! THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS What, I missed one? * * * ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/2 "2003-03-12T21:11:32Z")
JUBBA: Because it was stapled to the weasle. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/3 "2003-03-12T21:37:37Z")
The chicken is suspected of having weapons of mass destruction… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/4 "2003-03-12T22:05:21Z")
Jacob Nielsen: The truth is, the chicken never made it across the road because of poor mystery meat navigation. Not only that but the road requires too much bandwidth and nobody likes to side-scroll. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/5 "2003-03-12T22:20:18Z")
before everyone goes off on a _tangent_ , i’d like to suggest we create our own list of why Kirupians think the chicken crossed the road, here are some reasons why some Kirupians think the chicken crossed the road Makaveli: The chicken was running from me, i was about to pluck it and it eats intestines and place its head on Phil’s dinner table Phil: The chicken was involved in a national conspiracy to take away our freedoms and was in cahoots with the IRS and planned to expand its operating borders BEYOND the road kirupa: the chicken only wanted to learn flash, really it was looking for [kirupa.com](http://kirupa.com) but it got lost lostinbeta: the chicken wanted to be left alone and wanted its own reality like me, after reaching the other side, the chicken was forever known as chickenOnOtherSideOfRoad david: the chicken was really a vampire chicken and it knew there were many gullible kirupians on the other side whose blood could be easily extracted Alex: i’m lost eilsoe: the chickens and werms were in a terrible struglle and I, commander of werms, forced the retreat of the chickens to the other side of the road Ok so there you have it, its my little list, i am hoping YOU people will expand it and add more people or write what YOU think the Kirupians think the chicken crossed the road ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/6 "2003-03-12T22:25:28Z")
That Ronald Reagan one was a low blow. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/7 "2003-03-12T22:25:58Z")
mdipi: It ran away when i offerd the sweet spam…but no…not even a no thank you! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/8 "2003-03-12T23:28:36Z")
XXVIII: Like many chickens in it’s day, it came down with a sudden illness. This illnesses code name was diahrrea maximus, which caused the chicken to crap like there was no tomorrow. The chicken lived on the side of the road where the desease was, and possibly a cow or 2. On the other side, however, there was a glorious golden toilet, with silk toilet paper. This caused a sensation in the chicken, no, not the unbarable pain in his intestines, but the feeling of joy, and comfort. The chicken then proceeded to cross the road. Once he arrived at the Toilet he realized it was nothing but a mere halucanation. The chicken then pooped itself as the story rapidly decreased in big wordinness… the chicken lived poopily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/9 "2003-03-12T23:31:02Z")
Lavaboy: The Chicken wanted to listen to my show, which was on the other side… eh, that’s not funny… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/10 "2003-03-13T00:10:58Z")
it was chronically ill and the hopsiatal was on the other side but it doesnt matter since it got run over anyway. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/11 "2003-03-13T02:22:52Z")
rev: the chicken was spam, it was simply spam posing as a chicken! so it went to the other side to “conversationalize” vts: the chicken was a representation of art and the beauty of life, it wanted something greater in life so it crossed the road fester: chicken? where?! _brings out barbecue_ guig0: here in brazil, we have no chickens! so all i can say is power to you bro! you go cross the road if you like pom: thats right, we too have no chickens, only a lot of dead people and bad rifles 😛 (low blow i know, dam Phil’s influence) come on people…what do YOU think kirupa or phil might have said? thats my take…whats YOURS! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/12 "2003-03-13T04:40:02Z")
It doesnt’ matter why the chicken crossed! Only that we remember that the chicken learnt that the saying “Life is always greener on the other side” was correct. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:03am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/13 "2003-03-13T07:03:14Z")
no more?? come on… i want a Kirupian list…go interview as many kirupians as you can! or just make up stuff… btw Cynegenica, i SOOOOOOOOO envy your avatar… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/14 "2003-03-13T07:09:08Z")
The chicken, being decendent from foul of china, must be a terrible communist sympathiser. She crossed the road to spirit secret messages to the enemy. Bush proceeded to declare war on all chickens, bombing them out of existance because they might represent a threat to us sometime in the future. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/15 "2003-03-13T07:18:54Z")
The chicken crossed the road because I was chasing it around with a fork and knife dammit… End of CASE! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/16 "2003-03-13T07:33:56Z")
and some bbq sauce… I’m with ya there playmarz ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/17 "2003-03-13T07:42:33Z")
Yeah… me and David went to KFC with some bbq sauce and we talked to the COlonel and he said he was missing a chicken and that they were out of chicken for us… So… Us being the crazy type… me and David sought after the small beast with the most pirmitive of tools… Thus known as the fork, knife and bbq sauce container. Needless to say… David jumped over a car… I flew out of the way and we caught the chicken. And me and david lived happily ever after… With some chicken in our tummies… hehe ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 10:45am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/18 "2003-03-13T10:45:37Z")
why did the chicken cross the road? he was following the egg. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/19 "2003-03-14T03:05:33Z")
the chicken led a rebellion to overthrow the king formally known as “The Big C\*ck” it was a momentus occasion 😠 😠 😠 😛 ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex011/uploads/kirupa/original/3X/6/2/621e5c11736f46532526e61be85940af4230f3e5.png) [@system](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301/20 "2003-03-14T03:33:35Z")
who would cross a road with cars going 10000 mph 🙂 . really and the people wouldve never seen the chicken, stupid chicken… Why you ask? he was drunk, hiccup :chinaman: [Next page](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/15301.md?page=2)