# Wives :( \[although i am not married yet\] :P

**URL:** <https://forum.kirupa.com/t/wives-although-i-am-not-married-yet-p/146747>\
**Category:** Uncategorized\
**Created:** [May 3, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/wives-although-i-am-not-married-yet-p/146747 "2005-05-03T22:14:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Jasninder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Jasninder](https://forum.kirupa.com/u/Jasninder)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://forum.kirupa.com/t/wives-although-i-am-not-married-yet-p/146747/1 "2005-05-03T22:14:30Z")

</div>

## My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman

## My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield

## A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. -Milton Berle

## I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.” I asked her , “Where’s the car?” She replied,“In the lake.” -Henny Youngman

## The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman

## After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

## When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

## I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends. ---------------------------------------------------------

## A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

## ;Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

## A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

## Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa , a Man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

## Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

## A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: “You can have mine.”

## A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. “A billionaire.” she replied,

## Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

## It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

## Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

## Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

* * *

## A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

## A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,“Okay, give me a million dollarsa and beat me till I’m half dead.”

## Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.