CSS Table. Vertical Centering not working

I have just been attempting to create a table in CSS where the text is centred vertically and horizonally. Horizontally is fine, left, right, centre, justify its all good. When I come to vertical the **** text just refuses to line up the middle. I’m going to smash my computer in very shortly if I don’t figure it out.

How do I vertically centre if I can’t use the standard attributes in a CSS sheet?!