Help loading unloading external swfs w/ separate menus

Hello
I am having a hell of a time trying to figure out who to properly load and unload
external swf’s with each swf containing its own “sub menu”

this is what I am trying to achieve…

an index.swf with a main menu from here a UILoader loads in external swf’s

in each of the external swf’s I will have a “sub menu” which will be dynamically created from a remote xml source.

( I am using slideShowPro with Director, and with the help of others have successfully built a dynamic menu that load the albums based on the ssp’s gallery .xml address)

it is this remote building of the xml data menu which is why I need (or think I need) to have the
“sub-menus” contained in the corrisponding swf.

the problem that I am having now is once the still.swf (ie the dynamic sub menu swf) is loaded
I can not get back to my main menu swf.

because first it does not recognize my UILoader instance name as that is outside of its swf.
and second I can not call on the “main menu” from that index.swf either.

I am really at a loss
and I feel it is largely due to perspective. (I am not looking at this right I know)

here is where I am at now.

site example

any help, or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

thanks