Joke: Christian Lady

This joke was told in a church in Victoria, Australia

There was an old lady just came out of church and was all fired up form the holyness of the session. She stuck a sticker on her bumper that said, “Honk if you love Jesus!”

She jumped in her car and drove off. She stopped at an intersection where the traffic lights was red. She didn’t notice when the lights turned green. And a guy behind her honked and soon many cars were honking.

She was sooo happy that so many people were responding to her bumper sticker. The old lady was very excited when a guy shouted, “Move!! For the love of God!!”

She could’ve sworn that someone was from Queensland because she heard someone saying something about a ‘sunny beach’!

She looked around and saw a guy waving the weirdest wave where only the middle finger was swinging around in the air! She asked her son what that was and he said it must be a Hawaiian good-luck wave! So, she waved back the same way. She thought her son must be enjoyinig this too as he burst into laughter!

She was even more joyfull when she saw people getting out of their cars to greet her. She thought of what they would ask like what church she went too and maybe make friends.

But she realized that the lights had turned green and she drove off. She looked back and saw that she was the only car that could make the lights so she slowed down to give them the Hawaiian good-luck wave one…last…time…

:smiley:

haha! That’s great :beam:

…bWAHAHAHHAHAhahahhaa.

ah, great.

eh :-/

oh man lol

:lol: That’s the best joke I’ve heard in awhile.

Great find.

meh, ive heard betta

I got one! I got one!

Ok, The Reverend of a Church approaches 3 Nuns and says:

“Sisters, God has spoken to me, and because of your stout devotion to him, he is allowing you each one day of sin. Come back, and your will be forgiven completely.”

Ecstatic, the sisters left the church and returned later that day. The first nun approached the Father and said, “Forgive me, for I have sinned.”

“Speak your sins, and all shall be forgiven.”, replied the Reverend.

To which the Nun replied, “I shot and killed a man.”

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, drink from the holy water, my child, and all shall be forgiven.”

The nun drinks from the holy water, prays a “thank you” to Jesus, and goes about her business. The second nun approaches the Father and says “Forgive me, for I have sinned.”

“Speak your sins, and all shall be forgiven.”, replied the Reverend.

To which the Nun replied, “I shot and killed a man. And I also had sex with a stranger.”

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Drink from the holy water, and in his eyes, your sexual encounters and murder will be forgiven.”

The nun drinks from the holy water, prays a “thank you” to Jesus, and goes about her business. The last nun approaches the Father and says “Forgive me, for I have sinned.”

“Speak your sins, and all shall be forgiven.”, replied the Reverend.

To which the nun responded, “I shot a man, had sex with another, and pissed in the holy water.”

=========================

ONE MORE! (Cause I love you guys)

A man walks into a bar at the top floor of a hotel and approaches the bartender, where another patron is already apparently “had a few”.

“Gimme something stiff”, said the first man, “I’ve had a horrid day at work.”

The man already at the bar got up from his stuper and addressed the disgruntled business man. “Gee, fella, I’m sorry to hear that. But I’ll let you in on a secret. If you drink this magical brew I got, you’ll be able to fly!”

“What?!”, replied the businessman. “You’ve GOT to be joking me. Do you REALLY think I’m going to believe some bar drunk?”

To which the patron said, “Ok, if you don’t believe me, then watch this!” To which he chugs down the liquid in his glass, jumps out the window, flys around, and then enters back through the window.

“THAT’S AMAZING!”, cried the businessman, “Can I try some of that?”

“Of course”, replies the patron, “Barkeep! Pour my friend here some of the special brew!”

The businessman anxiously drinks down the beverage, jumps out the window and falls to his death. The barkeep turns to the patron and says, “You’re a REAL ******* when you’re drunk, Superman.”

it’s the way you read it that makes it funny :slight_smile:

Hehehahaohoahiehoe i like that second one, havent heard it in a while!

:lol: great ones aegis! The superman one is especially great.

Ruski if you know good jokes c’mon and share’m

Looks like the water ain’t holy no more

AAAhahahahaha superman hahahahAHHAHAHAH

:lol: