Lost our dog yesterday

Here’s a translation from my sisters blog:

My loved Diesel.

Sitting here trying to come up with words for saying that your not here anymore. But the tears are making it hard. I trying to type but my fingers are slipping. A text that should have been writin in 5 minutes takes and hour to type.

Yesterday 15 past fem you were taken from me, at all happened so fast, neither you or me had time to think. We were out on a walk, an “extra” walk, I wasnt even going to walk you but I thought you deserved on before I went to work. I put on those blinking collars so that I could see you in the dark. We went out to the meddow, where we go almost everyday, I let them loose as always and they startet to run around. Diesel was so happy when he got to roam around like that. You could really see his happiness sparkling.

Then all of the sudden they ran away, fortezze and Diesel, I called them but no one returned. Diesel usually always listens to me, even if they were cahsing a hare. But not yesterday. I see the train comming on the tracks about 500 metres away, A terrible chill goes trhough me, then there is silence, silence inside me. I feel that diesel is no longer among us. I could have touched the emptyness he left behind. Then I see Fortezze comming back.

The following 20 minutes are hysterical. I walk the other dogs home after hystericly and panicly yelling on Diesel who I know dont hear me, I call my mom and go out to search for him again, When mom arrives she has a couple of flashlights with her and we go up to the tracks. It doesnt take meny seconds before I see he’s body inbetween the rails, My diesel, my beloved diesel. My kne’s got week and I just fell down.

The traindriver said that it was a direkthit, Diesel didnt even see the train comming, he died right away, didnt feel anything at all. It feels good that he just disapeared, He didnt have any anxiaety, He was just happy, happy chasing a hare. The anxiaety is mine, The longing is main, the sorrow is mine. Diesel doesnt suffer now. I have gone broken and it feels like I will never heal again.

How can there be snow today? today!? Diesel loved the snow, He loved borrowing in his head in it, rolling around in it. Running in it. And then he misses the first snow, by now day, it feels so cruel.

I’ve read it several times, Each time I cry. I cried writing this. I never thought I’d get this sad from loosing one of our dogs. I wasnt even that sad when I first heard of it. The sadness came later.

I’m sorry If the translation is bad and poorly spelled.


Diesel and Frost