And the internet, according to http://www.somethingawful.com/
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2005
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[indent]**JANUARY - **Macromedia releases âFlash ZX: Directorâs Platinum Ultra Editionâ which includes an extensive library of commands specifically developed for Internet advertisers. These features include easy-to-implement code such as âmake active window shake really fast while playing a 40-second long country music sound clip singing about the new Ford SUV,â âmake **** fly at you while blinking so rapidly that the monitor begins to smoke,â and the much requested âmake another popup window appear once this popup window is closed because weâre awfully sure that you didnât mean to close this window of FANTASTIC SAVINGS and you would be a fool to not take advantage of our 534 separate fabulous deals for free vacation getaways to the beautiful island of Viagra.â Rumor has it that thereâs a couple new commands optimizing animation and multimedia content creation, but since people stopped using Flash to create actual content years ago, nobody can ever confirm this. Macromedia beats industry estimates by announcing they actually sold a copy, purchased by a company too stupid to download a warezed version.
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