http://www.kirupa.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35717
if you see the post i made here, you might understand why i am writing this…
when i moved to where i am now, in sept 2001, my life changed completely. having started university march the following year, and having worked as a professional waiter from day 1 of landing in this country, i grew apart from my usual social habits and ‘customs’ if you will, that i had in my previous country of residence.
i do admit i enjoyed being out every day, either for a game of pool/snooker, enjoying my cigarettes or an occasional cigar (quit now 
) or going to the cinema with a group of friends, or paint-balling, the beach in summer, clubs, bars, house-parties, just chilling in groups of 20-30 people… then it all ended when i came here…
having left my gf at the time, who was supposed to join me, but then “dumped” me and i was heart-broken for almost 8 months after (her being older she knew what she was doing), and waitering ridiculous hours, not bothering to study more than the minimum required of me (mainly out of depression of this new unwanted life)… basically, i blocked everything and everyone out of my life
living in a small hole underneath the restaurant where i worked, with my father (1 of 2 owners of the restaurant) and later my younger brother… then moving out for the first time of my life (then 21) making soooo many mistakes, financial, neglecting my studies, then moving back in when my flat mate (international student) left, then moving out again when my best friend for 10 years almost joined me to study at the same uni… my life was just not progressing the way i intended or wanted
then after 3 years, i moved back because we both were not studying, and a job opportunity i got made me leave uni, however that did not work out…
well, although i did make mistakes, and did go through rough patches… im relaxed where i am, not because this is who i am, but because i have adapted to a tranquil life… no socializing, as my fiancee` is in another city, and that depresses me, although she will join me soon. i have moved back with my parents, in another city, dad left the business to his partner and is now retired, mom is still working (being the bread-maker) and my brother is here too now. my best friend is still overseas, planning to come back into the country once he has finished his studies and made some money, and something still bothers me…
the fact that i have pushed everything and everyone away from me… and base my life on searching through the internet, looking for new things to read, new software to try and play with, through these forums… and i realize that deep down inside, this is not really where i want to be…
money is always an issue, at least until i stop studying, and all these factors put together make me abandon the real world, and commit to an “internet life” so to speak…
the only thing i know will bring back my positive, energetic, and happy self, is my fiancee`, the woman that i know means everything to me, the woman who is able to bring me to smile no matter what, the woman i am proud to be with, who knows what is right and wrong, who is intelligent, and who has a heart bigger than the universe itself.
for now though, i limit myself to the internet, where i, as others, can be a nobody among someones, or a “fly on the wall”, still being cautious not to let my feelings become too involved with this digital lifestyle, nor to let them wander too far from it.
anyway, just had to get that off my chest, even if nobody will listen, im happy i wrote this :pleased: 
EDIT: paragraphs… just for hsadan