VB.NET and Flash

I’ll keep my story short:
I created a socialgame in Flash CS4 Actionscript 3.0 where people can interact with each other. I made PHP the core of my game and with MySql with creativity I made it very realistic resemblance to a game that works on a server software to connect each other (wich mine is not). I even made functions like logging out and movement actions.

However, my Flash game relies on Flash and MySql, so he refreshes the game every second by loading the PHP core file that runs querys etc. And he sends more than 20 packets every second. My hosting said you get blocked after 5000 hits.

To my knowledge it’s technically impossible to make a solution for this.
The very last option I got is to make a socket server. The benefits of this project will be instant reactions from the server, I can make it easily much more creative.

… So atlast my question is, where should I start? I have experience in Visual Basic.NET and a little in C#. So if there’s any way how I can use that as a server for my Flash client…

I have looked around Google, forums and other search engines to something like this but most results are from people who needed help with their own project and don’t give information for seekers like myself. Or sources that are too complex, like a huge avatar chat system etc. I need something small to send information, ofcourse some functions like noticing when you get disconnected, multiple connections etc.

I didn’t know in what category I should post this question. But since the client (Flash) is the final importance for my players I post this here.

Please let me know.

**Edit: **Unfortunately I have low knowledge of UDP/TCP (whatever, lol) networking and sockets.
The thing is why I ask for a complete tutorial/example/explaination is that I don’t know the basics of networking.

I imagine sending sockets needs a protocol/key to work with. So your client and server must work very specificly in a specific way to connect each other. I can’t just search for a socket program to connect wich might not work. I hope I explained this clearly, bluntly put I don’t know where to start :stuck_out_tongue: