Was Tim a woman in a past life or something?
Aaah, that office humour amongst men…
we can be quite cruel sometimes…
All in good fun
> > We would like to inform you that, due to the introduction > >of the
> > EURO,
> > from January 2nd 2002 the Kamasutra position usually
>> known as 69
> > will now be known as 35.28
> > Best Regards
> > The Euro Changeover Board
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you are a good for nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your rear and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it’s favoritism.
If she gets job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.
If you cry, you are a wimp.
If you don’t, you are insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you
are a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you
are a pervert.
If you don’t, you are gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you
are a sexist.
If you don’t, you are unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
If you don’t, you are a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you are after something.
If you don’t, you are not thoughtful.
If you are proud of your achievements, you are full of yourself.
If you don’t, you are not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she is tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you are over-sexed.
If you don’t, there must be someone else
Life’s Instructions in 10 easy steps
1.Money is not everything… There’s MasterCard & Visa.
2.One should love animals… They are so tasty.
3.Love everybody… Love every BODY.
4.Save water… Shower with your girlfriend.
5.Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught
6.Behind every successful man, there is a woman. But behind
every unsuccessful man, there are 2.
7.Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only
thing in life.
8.A successful man is one who can earn more than his wife
spends. A successful woman is one who can find such man.
9.Wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise.
10.Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
It’s like shooting fish in a bucket isn’t it?
That first one though, I’m going to have to watch what I say from now on. I do several of those things…