Adding sound/video with object tag

I have som problems adding sound to my webpage, mainly because i’m being difficult:

  1. I don’t want it to open in a separate window
  2. I don’t want to use flash
  3. I don’t want to use the controller - i want to use my own graphics to control start/stop

I could use the <embed> tag, but since it’s not supported by w3c i try to avoid that.

That leaves me with the <object> tag, which i can’t understand anything of.

I don’t know what to put in the CodeBase, Code type, media type and certainly not in Class id properties of the tag.
I don’t understand how to use the <param> either.

I have tried to search for tutorials on the net for this, but most of them refer to the embed tag, or doesn’t explain the properties or <param>.

Anyone knows anything about this, where i can find correct values for CodeBase/Code type/media type, or have links to pages that uses this tag?

The w3c explanation just confuses me.