[font=Tahoma][size=3]This Kid will go far…[/size][/font]
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[font=Tahoma]This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny![/font]
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[font=Tahoma]NAME: Greg Bulmash.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. [/font]
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[font=Tahoma]EDUCATION: Yes. [/font]
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[font=Tahoma]LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]SALARY: Less than I’m worth.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma]SIGN HERE: Aries.[/font]
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[font=Tahoma] _________________________________________________________________________[/font]
