I found this in my old sent email, but it was some stupid email I received with those 20 things to do to live by kind of crap. Anayway I changed it around and sent it back out to the same people… here were my words.
Instructions for Life:
Eat plenty of that stuff we used to have back in the day…what was that called…
Give people more than they expect, then feel like they owe you favors for life.
Learn by heart your favorite song, and know the radio edited version as well.
Don’t believe anything you hear while you sleep.
When you say “I love You”, make sure you are not intoxicated.
When you say I’m sorry, don’t think that cures herpes.
Believe in love at first sight, unless that happens the morning after.
Never mock others’ dreams, mock there nightmares.
Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt, but atleast you’ll be getting laid often.
Deal with discontentment, fight fairly, but do not offend, unless they use momma jokes.
Remember that the greatest love and the greatest success cost more money than you have.
Call your mom when you are drunk.
Bless a person who has just sneezed, **** a person who farted in a confined area.
When you lose, just tell people you really weren’t trying hard.
Remember: respect for yourself, and respect drunk people who make ***** of themselves.
Do not allow a small disagreement to hurt a great friendship, and don’t allow a small friendship to come between a great disagreement.
When you notice that you have made a mistake, take the appropriate steps to correct it, or blame it on the politicians.
Smile when you answer the phone. Those who call don’t know your naked.
When you get old, conversation will be more important than anything else, because you have nothing else to do.
Spend some time alone, alone alone alone.
Accept change with open arms; except when it comes to hair styles. Mullets will always be cool.
Be gentle with our Earth planet, who knows when the mother ship will come back.
