…phone.
It’s a SE k810i.
It kicks monkey-anus.
It can do everything an iPhone can do (except touchscreen, but my last phone was an HTC wizard with a touchscreen. I learnt to hate it), 'cept it doesn’t slow down when you go on the net, it has a better camera, I got it free, and the memory is removable/upgradable.
Plus it’s smaller than the iPhone.