100% certifiable cyclepath =)
it seems i’ve opened a can of worms here… but i can’t turn back, so i must add my bit:
i am stunned that nobody picked up on the fact that the shoe-cake served at the funeral by the monkey in the clown suit (yes, thats right: the monkey IS the clown!) was heavily doused with a dean r koontz type of mind controlling drug which affects everybody execpt the hyperintelligent child with the heart-wrenching handicap and his faithful human-like dog, which invariably save everybody in the end. however, on this occassion, the dog helped itself to some of the shoe-cake - a terrible mistake - and was later reported to have been spotted catching a flight to amsterdam accompanied by a long-legged bird of some description, thus it was unable to assist the hyperintelligent child who got stuck in the toilet cavity (this happens a lot to thin-hipped people) and ended up being flushed through the soil pipe into the atlantic with such force as to cause a sizeable hole in the husk of an oil tanker which subsequently capsized off the coast of spain, leaving the sleepy town in the hands of the monkey in the clown suit, who - as established earlier - is devious by nature. the details of the deeds the monkey carried out on those greedy shoe-cake infested people are far too taboo to post in a flash forum, but you’ll none-the-less be glad to know that they had no bearing on the protagonist’s sister’s death sometime later. all i can say is that soon the population of the sleepy town increased by 3%, and the new generation was, erm, let’s just say ‘very much in touch with nature’.
the answer was in the girl all along. or rather, in the girl’s ancestry. yes, that’s right: the girl’s grandparents (as were all our grandparents) were monkeys! as discovered by charles darwin! by proxy, this makes her naturally devious enough to conceive said murder.
and now, to tie some loose ends:
1 the monkey in the clown suit was the girl’s grandfather (although that is pretty obvious) who had gotten all upset (understandably) because of his dauther’s death (that’s the girl’s mother in the first funeral) and taken to the illegal practice of shoe-cake baking with the intent to poison and molest (because such is the nature of monkeys)
2 the man in the funeral was an astral projection from a completely different story. he had no idea of what he was doing there and was quite annoyed at the fact that he had meant to be somewhere else entirely and not in a sleepy, best-selling paperback type of town. becasue of the shoe-cake intoxication, the dead mother’s girl with the ape ancestry (although we shouldn’t laugh at that, because our own grandparents were hairy and devious, as pointed out) believed that the astral projection was in fact a man of very beautiful qualities (when in truth, his name is colin and he’s quite drab) and cause this whole mess.
the sleepy town may yet press charges against colin for ‘break-in and appearance’
next week: shoe-cake recepies from the voodoo chef