LOLZ! its really hilarious! hehhhhee :mu:
I bet red will be familiar with some of those quotes :lol:
haha, some of those are classic.
Clients really are idiots 
Are you allowed to punch clients?
client: “yeah, and i think this should always be spinning.” (a graphic behind the content)
designer: “i don’t think pepole will be able to focus on the words if we have this spinning behind it.”
client: “MAKE IT SPIN ****NIT!!!”
:lol:
lmao
they need a submit page = P
Probably not but at least make them pay half up front like I do then you can just walk if they piss you off. I have only done that once and the good thing was they treated me better and got off their fat *** and we finished the project faster with no more lame round a bout corrections.
Are you allowed to punch clients?
haha… this page is great…
client: “oh my god. i love the website you designed for us! it’s ab-solute-ly brilliant and it looks faaabulous!.. but can i suggest a minor change? you think we could change the colors of the graphics? maybe make them more lighter? and maybe put the logo on the left side instead of the right? and the color of the text is perfect but we need it to be a little bit darker. is that easy to do?"
designer: " … "
I’ve encountered this type before… they go on and on about how cool it is, and how well it is designed, and then comes the ‘list’… :krazy:
they need a submit page = P
agreed…
Ooh, more ! Thanks ! :thumb:
That client is probably still searching for someone to tell them that DVD quality video has no load time.
I can’t copy here the entire email conversation I had with a previous client, but he basically was calling me an ******* because they wanted a “flexible site” that would allow them to grow. So I built them an ecommerce store and self updatable content pages. Then they wanted to take specific payments for events. So I billed them to create the new section. Then they wanted to have options for the store items like sizes, colors… So I billed them.
Then I get an email saying… I’m not paying you guys anymore money. We wanted a flexible site but we have to keep paying you!
Basically he wanted a site that would allow for anything at anytime without requiring any development costs… ?huh?
I had a client that was paying me hourly one time. They told me what they wanted and sent me on my way and didnt check up on me at all and ignored all my questions i was emailing them and phoning them about. So after about 30 hours of work they finally came back around and ended up trashing all that i had been working on because they didnt like my color scheme on the layout, which went with the color scheme of their previously made logo. Anyways, i got paid for that 30 hours of pointless work…smiles
http://www.derailer.org/clientquotes/?qid=239
IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB COMPANIES
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
what I want. Also, bring me the cost reakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don’t have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don’t bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of
the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.
Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor’s house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the
75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of
later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can’t happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I’ve given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can’t handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
D*mn!
I haven’t had any graphic design clients… but i have had some very stupid Teachers at my school when i was a tech there…
[list]
[]me: what version of windows you have?
teacher: I don’t think i have windows, can you get that for me?
[/list]
[list]
[]i’ve had a teacher pull me out of an Ap class just to tell her how to turn on her compaq presario.
[*]one teacher freaked out when her monitor switched to powersave mode and shut off… she thought she had fryed her computer… i turned her moniter back on… she glared at me and sayed “i’m not stupid you know”
[/list] But i love em all to death… and enjoyed every minute of it.
All these are hilarous!!!
i need more
