Funny English

Lol some people are really bad at english :slight_smile:

These are actual metaphors from GCSE essays:

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m.travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.”

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this…

And a new one from me -

… with all the grace and elegance of a bucket of frogs tipped onto a marble floor.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

I suppose that would hurt quite a bit… =0)

Cheers!
-Niann

And who says we English don’t have a sense of hmour? :stuck_out_tongue:

*Originally posted by Kitiara *
**And who says we English don’t have a sense of hmour? :stuck_out_tongue: **

Yeah, english people sound funny.

I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one… :slight_smile:

We do not. We have lovely voices. :beam:

And you say words like “lovely”

And Americans don’t? :slight_smile:

Not often…only when we are being cynical :stuck_out_tongue:

How about words like ‘funky’? Or ‘groovy’? There’s a guy sitting two desks away that always says those…

I say funky, never say groovy. I call everybody man. Even my boss!

lol…its funny because I work in a super corporate enviornment.

Okkkaaayyyyy maaaannnnnn I sound like im stoned or something.

Well I always call everyone ‘mate’…

*Originally posted by Lunar_4u *
**Lol some people are really bad at english :slight_smile:

These are actual metaphors from GCSE essays: **

Similes too, some of those suckers almost extended metaphors. :geek:

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree

ooooh boy this ones is just too funny…

but Bush is american and he isnt much better at speaking…

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

mmhh, nice…

i might be one of the people wrote these kind of things, although i got A and A* in lang. & litt.

lmao, omg these are too funny. if i were to type my faves, i would repeat half the list, so i will refrain from that as a bad student refrains from do-gooding at the time of his badness. :wink:

and i say “funky” and “groovy” a bit too much for my own good.

Its a normal thing, depends on the accent i guess.When i was in uk, ppl thot i had a funny 1,but when those same executives were in india, my fnrds passed the same comment bout them. I agree, slangs or cool talk are really strange all over the world, i mean first time in my life i heard a guy being called “geezar” :stuck_out_tongue: i had no clue who they were talkn about… :slight_smile: finally i figured it out myself heheheh

Stop digging up old threads :stuck_out_tongue:

  • Soul :s:

nahh actually it’s nice to dig up old threads - brings back interesting stuff - sometimes… :stuck_out_tongue:

This one quite relates to me in a way that i have somewat same probs.My gf is basically indian, but was born and brought up in uk
she has just bin to india ones, she’s has english accent and stuff like tht n mine is more wid an american touch… anyway, lets not dig anymore:P heheh

“The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.”

This is great. I jsut about pissed my self when i read it.