Omg lmao:
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
> Let’s face it.
> English is an odd language.
> There is no egg in the eggplant,
> No ham in the hamburger,
> And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
> English muffins were not invented in England.
>
>
> French fries were not invented in France.
>
> We sometimes take English for granted,
> But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
> Quicksand takes you down slowly,
> Boxing rings are square,
> And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>
>
>
> If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.
> If the plural of tooth is teeth,
> Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
> If the teacher taught,
> Why didn’t the preacher praught.
>
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
>
>
> What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
> Why do people recite at a play,
> Yet play at a recital?
> Park on driveways and
> Drive on parkways?
>
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
> Of a language where a house can burn up as
>
>
> It burns down,
> And in which you fill in a form
> By filling it out,
> And a bell is only heard once it goes!
>
> English was invented by people, not computers,
> And it reflects the creativity of the human race
>
>
> (Which of course isn’t a race at all).
