HI, it's my entry

contests
1

Hi,

I 'm a beginner in flash ,and flash is really fantastic.
Here is my exercise for the entry, have a nice click.
all critics are appreciated.

http://www.freewebs.com/nobodysir/aids.html

Cheers

nobodysir

2

I say not bad at all…

Kinda like one of those dam bank ads where they make themself out to be soooo nice.
If you get what I mean by that.

3

You may want to change “change this happening” to maybe say “change this from happening.” I think that sounds a bit better :slight_smile:

4

Thanks you Sir,

I 've changed the words from " stop this happening " to " stop this from happening",

yup, really sounds better!

Thanks to all kind of critics.

nobodysir

5

also, at the end…you can still see the baby and the mom a little bit…im not sure if you wanted it like that…but its like that…

6

is it just me or can i see a babys face on that boys face? can you?

7

Did you not read the post above you? :wink: :stuck_out_tongue:

Also, I don’t know maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t like the fact that you used the same picture twice (boy). Use one similar to that but with a different person.

Good job nonetheless. :thumb:

8

This is pretty nice, however, the words over the picture isn’t very friendly for some people, try to put them over the pictures, but ontop a almost transparent color.

9

I think you should change this sentence:
“Do you ever think of AIDS would take you away?”

I don’t really understand what you’re tryin to say there

10

Thank you guys,

Those point you’re rised is really good and helpful, some of mistake I’ve made is not
even realized by me, say the use of words may not be good to some people, that 's
true , I 've to apologize for those people may hurted.

I 'm now working for some corrections,

Those rising critics are really appreciated.

11

HI,
I’ve made some changes, and updated the entry.

thanks

12

I think the words “Before you aware it is too many” sounds weird. You may want to include an “are” between the “Before” and “you” :slight_smile:

13

I like your concept, but like Mr. K. said your wording is a bit off, and the flow of your intro is thrown off if viewers keep re-reading the statement in confusion. Good work good idea.

14

you’ve spelt the word ‘people’ wrong in ‘it’s other peoples problem.’ but a clear and concise message overall,well done.

15

Thank you guys,
I really enjoy to hear those opinions rised from all different corners of the world, this kind of friendly discussion is such an effective way to help improve our jobs.

Regarding the using of words in my intro’ , I find “the skill of using words” is really a key point of this contest, words appeared must be simple and comprehensive enough to impact those animations we’ve used in _this.30seconds . It 's quite a task to me…haha:blush:

Thanks again, I 'm looking forward to see more entries from other to enrich my experience.

Cheers

16

umm, just thought that i better note this, you do realise the IE in default (XP SP2) settings places freewebs.com in the restricted zone? this means activeX and Flash won’t work (on default settings again mind you)