Ever since the start of the college year, I’ve been dragging my sorry arse half way across the city(1.5 hour communte) to my college. When I do reach there, I find myself in my my lecture hall not paying attention to the professor at all. Instead, I doodle!! What might you ask do I ‘doodle?’ … well thats entirely besides the point. Anyway, I usually remain there the entire day. Thats a good thing because I hate living at my own house.
[SIZE=1](I need to move out soon)[SIZE=2]
When the time does come where I have to finish my projects/assignments, I am completely unmotivated to do it.
Let me say a little bit about myself. I am a student in architectural design (landscape more like) and I happen to like it too. On the side, I am trying to learn some C++ by myself, but I often find myself mathematically challenged in that area. I am clueless as how to proceed in that feild, although am very determined to succeed. I also have a girlfriend who happens to be way smarter than me, [SIZE=1](Although the smartness has nothing to do with it, I often find myself comparing myself to her. All I can say is she’s a genius and hardworking, both characteristics that make me go tingly) [SIZE=2]Anyway, aside from that, I have a part time job that I hate. As for leisure activities, I go skating once in a while and spend alot of quality time with my girlfreind. Thats about all the leisure activities that I have.
Friends, well I dont have any except for my 'girl’friend. Reason being that I lost trust in individuals and their (not sure if it the right word) honor. Why? Well, everyone that I’ve encountered so far has went behind my back and talked about me. I usually find out about them through conversations… All I have left now are aquantances and I dont mind it at all, I can just say its a bit comforting.
Back to the topic of remaining focused!
I remain interested in the architectural design feild, but what I need right now is some motivation and perhaps a role model; and I must add, there is not a person in this world that I look up to. [SIZE=1](neither look down on) [SIZE=2]Although there is some admiration for certain achievments of select individuals, I dont think of them as rolemodels.
So I ask you to suggest some ways of remaining focused.
As a side note, excuse my faulty english, I’ve still yet to master the language.