Letters

Read it, you’ll know.

Letter to God

Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making
dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time
to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”

Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble
at school and at home. Johnny’s mother asked him if he thought he
deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Johnny, of course, thought he did.

Johnny’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his
behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God, and tell him
why he deserved a bike for his birthday. Little Johnny stomped up the
steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

   LETTER 1:

   Dear God,

   I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike

for my birthday. I want a red one.

   Your friend,

   Johnny.

   Johnny knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy

this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

   LETTER 2:

   Dear God,

   This is your friend Johnny. I have been a pretty good boy this

year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.

   Thank you,

   Johnny.

   Johnny knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and

started again.

   LETTER 3:

   Dear God,

   I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red

bike for my birthday.

   Your friend,

   Johnny.

   Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either.

   Johnny was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother

he wanted to go to church.

   Johnny's mother thought her plan had worked because Johnny

looked very sad.

   "Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.

   Johnny walked down the street to the church and up to the

altar. He looked around to see if anyone

   was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He

slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street,
into his house, and up to his room. He

   shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper

and a pen.

   Johnny began to write his letter to God.

   LETTER 4:

   I'VE GOT YOUR MOM. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

   Signed

   YOU KNOW WHO