stupid email I just got
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: "I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me. I said “WHAT!!! What was that?!” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear…“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so
I told her we’ll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let’s go to the cashier.
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don’t feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT!!!” I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile… You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,“Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?”
Apparently I’m not getting any tonight either.