Perks of being old :elderly:
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Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
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In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
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No one expects you to run into a burning building.
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People call at 9PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
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People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
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There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
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Things you buy now won’t wear out.
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You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
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You can live without sex but not without glasses.
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You enjoy hearing arguments about pension plans.
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You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
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You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
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You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
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You sing along with elevator music.
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Your eyes won’t get much worse.
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Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
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Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the national
weather service. -
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
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Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
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You can’t remember who sent you this list.
Rev