Hi,
How many of you guys are familiar with living in a big city AND having no friends when you got there except for your co-workers (sometimes, if one or two invite you to a party). That is my current predictament. The nightlife in the city is amazing…but it’s geared mostly for boy or girl entourages, and couples. Neighborhood bars mostly have couples and their roommate friends who have known each other for a long time…because they all live in the same apartment building. I stopped going to the big feature films because it’s either couples or families and to me it doesn’t look right that I’m a single guy in the movie theatre. I guess I can get away with music performances and open houses. What I’d like to know is how did you eventually evolve beyond having no friends in your city to knowing half of the people in your district and the friends of their friends? I cannot go to school right now…I have to work for a few months first. 
My ultimate goal is not to have a girlfriend…I want to be able to become part of a group of people that I can go to events with instead of going by myself. Am I scared of going to a particular neighborhood bar or a club event myself? No…just self concious and I hate being bored with myself. In the recent past I would go out and like the other single guys in the place I would stay silent listening to the couples or groups of people talk to each other. Then after a while I would leave, frustrated. This has got to stop…
Go to bars… and just find someone else just as bored in life as you guy/girl (if a guy make sure they are not “into you”), and then just meet more people. 2 people helping each other is a lot easier IMO. There are just as many single women as there are single guys in that city… you have to hope. What you have to do is just get off the computer and go outside.
[whisper]That or join an MMO thing and get horribly addicted and pretend its your new life.[/whisper]
I prefer meeting people online, and never going outside, except to computer things. :thumb:
Join a group or something. Maybe a church group or a neighborhood softball team. Something where you’ll be able to talk to some people and get to know them.
You didn’t say where you live or how old you are though, so it’s kind of hard to be helpful.
sometimes the best thing to do is jump right in and make something happen.
What are you worried about . . . ? weather or not people will like you?
Trust me the people who like you will gravitate twards you and the people who don’t won’t.
Find something you like . . get in with that crowd. don’t be affraid to stick it out there . . . no guts no glory!
Bars are played, drink beer . . . I can do that at home and spend less money.
Going to bars and drinking is a social gathering and not really something singles can really count on anymore.
Join a gym . . . you meet people and work on your body and mind . . .
that is a bonus on all levels, . .
you need motivation . . .:2c:
gp
And if they don’t like you, no problem. You never have to talk to them again. 
ya i think a club of some kind is probably the best bet. You’ll still have to deal with not knowing people at first but presumably people will want to meet you there because you share the interest (whatever club it is you join).
i just joined my uni badminton club and didn’t know anyone, but after going twice i have 4 people who i can have a hit with… you just need to decide before you go that you will put the effort in.
W00t. Im with Jeff. 
. Or i only leave for Ice cream or some currywurst 
ha ha pretty much the same here 
Your ultimate goal is not to have a girlfriend? What I am going to say is honest and that will change later in your life. Having a good life is having a balance between work and a proper social life which does not mean staying at home with a computer. It it a fact that when you move away, you leave long time friends behind. That means you find new people. If you particular like music and you know a friendly club or bar plays that genre, just go there and say hello. It can be hard being too self-concious but you don’t lose anything. Inevitably, you can’t make everyone happy and your the only one losing out if you are not enjoying yourself.
The best thing is to invite someone that share some similar interests and go somewhere cool. The best groupies are with the females. It’s really cool when you get to know some one them and they become your friends. You will have things to say endlessly. Just go out and give it a shot. Don’t be anti-social.
ive seen that movie not very long ago…40 year old virgin…recommended…
get involved in something that involves a group of people. if you’re just going to work and coming home and then out on the weekends you’re going to find it hard to meet people. I know where you’re at (been there, done that) and it sux. Take a fitness class of some kind or other class. Or join a gym. Avoid crap like going to the bar or coffee house, etc. to meet people. those are places you go to have conversation with people you already know or to try to pick people up (bar) if you’re into that. It’s easier to go to an organized activity/class where conversation can popup revolving around the activity. The pressure’s off and you’ll probably find it easier to be yourself and relax and people are drawn to that. Good luck brother… I know where you’re coming from!
