Well, there really isn’t a lot of time to give all the details so let me put it this way. I met these girls. They were too young for me, so I didn’t express any interest. When one tried to hook up with me, I said, basically “no, you’re too young for me, I’m sorry.” So the next day, they say that they are going to call the police for rape. No physical contact was ever made, and I don’t feel that they are serious, so I’m not really worried about it. Its just that in the conversation that lead up to the whole rape charge, I was insulted many times, and i should have just stopped talking to them. Anywho…I really desperately need to vent, so if this pisses you off then I am sorry, but I’m feelin like crap right now and there is this strange tightness in my chest so it feels like I’m getting an anxiety (sp?) attack.\r\rOne of the girls said to me, “grow up, act your age. You don’t drink, you don’t party, what is wrong with you?” and “You’re always on your computer, geek. Nerd. Get a life”\r\rNow, I realize that I should just shrug these comments off and not give a fat frogs a$s one way or the other. But the truth is that these comments actually cut me pretty deep, even though they were from strangers (and immature little girls at that). \r\rThis is my away message for my AIM screen name:\r<font color=blue>\rI need to vent so I am going to rant. Someone told me to “grow up and act [my] age” the other day because I don’t drink, smoke or get high on the weekends. Personally, I feel that I have grown up. Everyone that I have known all my life has grown up and done so in different ways. Personally I chose to not ever try drugs. That was my choice. I also chose to not drink as often as most of my friends do. That was my choice too. Its not that I dont’ have the friends to party with. Its not that I can’t get it to do it. Its a personal choice that I made and one that I have stuck by. I did so because people in my family have lost their lives, or livelyhood to drugs, and alcohol. If you are into that thing, then thats fine, thats your life, you feel that is fun, and I would never criticize you for your choice, so don’t criticize me for my choice.</font>\r\rMy family was destroyed when my father started drinking. Actually, no…it was destroyed before that, but when my father started drinking it got worse. My grandfather was an alcoholic, my uncles, my father, my mother, and 2 of my 3 sisters. It runs in my family and it is a disease. I know that I am strong enough to resist this trend and I know that I will not succumb to drinking. however, I still have this fear that I am not as strong as I would like to think. So I have decided that the best way to live is to not find out, so I don’t drink. Again that is my choice. \r\rDrugs. Drugs are bad. IMO. I sincerely dont’ care if anyone else does drugs. That is your thing. I respect your desicion and I will still think you are cool and everything. As long you still think I am cool for choosing not to do them. It is my life and my choice. Again, on my mother’s side of the famliy, the weed addiction. “Its not addictive. I can quit anytime.” No. A strong person can quit anytime. However, I believe that after smoking for a while, people lose their strength and develop a dependency. Yes some people have quit, or cut down drastically on their consumption (Dave said he did, and Simon too) Cheers for them! In my opinion that is the coolest thing you could ever do, and you have my eternal respect for that. Back to my mother’s side of the family. There was a drug bust many years back. Quite funny actually. It was my mother’s father and 6 brothers. Arrested for growing and selling marijuana plants. The police found 500 lbs in the truck, and another 1000 plants still in the ground. That is a looooot of weed. All of my uncles are burned out from their habit and have some serious memory and mental control problems that are most likely from their long-term (30+) years of smoking at least once a day. My cousins on the same family are just as bad. One smokes at least 5 times a day (addicted. Couldn’t stop if his life were on the line). The other jumped from pot into other more dangerous drugs, cocaine, heroine. He knew that he was going down the wrong road. So he took himself to rehab. Cheers for him too. Now, he only smokes pot and drinks like a fish, but he got away from the other “bad” drugs. \r\rI guess thats it for now. I apologize for taking your time, and I will give you that 3 minutes of your life back that it took you to read this if you really wish. I apologize also for being so depressed, but I was hoping maybe you all could help me out. You have many times in the past 5 months without even knowing it. Thank you.\r\rCheers,\rJeffery
Cheer up, Jub!\r\rYou’re only what you believe you are. In the 80s being a computer geek was really, well, geeky; nowadays it’s a compliment.\r\rYou certainly shouldn’t care what people that you don’t even like think about you. Imagine if you had actually pursued a relationship with one of these girls!\r\rYou’re good at what you do and if you continue it, someday you’ll be great. That’s all that matters and in the long run, it will pay off.\r\rI always like the saying:\r\r"Live a good and honorable life, that way you can enjoy it twice."\r\rSo, live your life how you see fit and cheer up, ****it!\r\r\rt2d
Jeff-\r I can feel your pain through your words. As far as the girls and their accusations are concerned, I have no good advice. One of Gods 10 commadments, out of the 613 commandments contained in Moses Law was ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness against your brother’ and this is a good example of the horrible evils that come from this particular sin. In reality, if they go through with their threats their is little that can be done other than to cross your fingers and hope to God the truth comes out before its entirely too late. And I know that you are a smart guy and know that already. Thats why your depressed about the situation. Make sure that, in case the worst happens, that you share this with any trusted family members or friends so that their is an alternative record of events before the police are involved. \r\rAs far as booze-more power to ya. If this world had never discovered the intoxicating properties of alcohol, this world be a better place. Period. Thats not just my opinion, its truth. Same with drugs. You know the story about your family and the pot plants, etc, is pretty sad. Who was hurt? Wheres the crime? If only they treated tobacco farmers with the same scales of justice for every one of their very real victims. 600 lbs? 6000 lbs? What the hells the difference? There isn’t any. It not a crime, never was and shouldn’t be one now. But then, it used to be illegal in america to be black. So, I guess there is hope. People have to realize that the world is a very tricky and dangerous place, and that they are responsible for their actions. If someone gives themselves over to pot or alcohol, so what? Should we then make a law for every thing that has the capacity for destroying someones life? Then dating shold be outlawed. And girls that do those horrible things to and with donkeys should not be allowed in the dating pool ever again. See my point? Making laws against sucking off a donkey will not stop the abomination. Nor will it deter them either. I do not think that most people would do such a thing, and if it were legal would not otherwise change their behavior and say, well, it’s legal! Im gunna go and suck off that donkey right now–@#%$ glad that law was repealed. The law doesn’t constrain these people. It acts as a light to their path through life. God only knows what horrible diseases have been brought into the gene pool of humans because of beastiality. Syhpilis is known to have started in eurpoe with the advent of sheep rearing— Humans would never had suffered such diseases had this abomination never happened. Consequences for everything, good and bad, and these consequences reach deep into the human chain. For very action there is an equal and opposite simaltaneous reaction. We can not always see this in operation but the principle holds true. Why did I use the above examples? Well, first of all I am a red paint on a white wall kind of guy. Splash it one and see the contrasts. I don’t care for political correctness as you know full well by now. I actively war againt the very idea. Stay your course. Don’t drink. Don’t do drugs. Don’t let what others think control either your thoughts or your behavior. They are not the standard to go by and it is a trap we all often fall into. \r\rDo what you know is right because it is the right thing to do. And let nothing else matter or determine your course. Again, I’ll say it for emphasis; Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. Learn from this lesson what you can as it will save you pain with other werthless souls you will meet along your path in life. What can be learned? Don’t talk to any girls you first off, don’t know. That are underage. Do not be open with strangers, as they will often use what they know about you to manipluate you into some scheme of theirs, whatever it might be, either @#%$, money or power. Those are the 3 biggies. \r\rAlso, write what happened out on paper, put it in the mail, dated of course and send it back to yourself certified return receipt. (2 bucks) This might prove more valuble an idea than you imagine. It will provide a written alternative story that will be evidence in your favor. Speak to friends or trusted family members. (ones who will trust your word and encourage you and not use this against you in the future) \r\rAnd move on; Don’t let it weigh you or press against you. Forgive, and hope for the best. And learn what you can. \r\rFor now thats all I can offer, I hope something might have helped–<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/ohwell.gif ALT=":"> \r\rAs kirupa would say;\rCheers-\rpj\r:p \rbtw, did you ever see that kirupa put your name in the about section of Kirupa? Mine too, couldn’t actually believe mine showed up, that was flattering. Undeserved but flattering nonetheless. Maybe that will provide a single ray of happiness on a this, a dark day.
Completely agreed, Jubba. I’ve followed the exact same morals as you have, but I found a key way to ensure that nobody ends up pissing me off. It’s really quite easy, really. Actually, one of the girls already explained it to you:\r\r
You’re always on your computer, geek. Nerd. Get a life. ** Skank Whore**
\r\rThat’s the key. Don’t talk to people. I’m not kidding, either. I meant it. If you want a good kid, raise them to be as anti-social as hell.\r\rSince the third grade I’ve had the exact same friends my entire life. Some of them have acquaintances, but the only time - EVER - I talk to someone outside of my group of friends is when they force me to. And even these few people we put through a rigorous screening process to see whether or not they’re deemable worthy to talk to us. Most are not. In my opinion, none of them are, but I’m the anti-social member of our anti-social group.\r\rPersonally, I’m happy with my 6 friends. I don’t need any more than that. Works for me. But, more importantly, there’s huge (most ethical) benefits to this:\r\r1. It’s basically impossible to start drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or dealing playing cards in a slightly quicker method than usual. I’ve never so much as heard of anyone that can honestly say they didn’t start smoking because of their peers. We’re all total defenition squares simply because there’s been nobody to recommend or pressure us in to doing anything like that. Throughout all of High School I never got offered a single beer, cigarette, or drug. And recent polls indicate that something like 75% of High School students do illegal drugs. I never even got the chance to bloody well smoke a freaking cigarette.\r\r2. Nobody cares that we do this. Who’s going to criticise us if we don’t talk to them? Hell, how are they even going to know? The only criticism I have to take is: “Hey! You’ve got long hair and you’re a guy! My mind is BLOWING!”, but I tend to respond to that more with: “Take that, establishment!”.\r\rOf course, there is the slight flaw that it’s not very easy to get a girlfriend when you don’t talk to anybody, but… Err… sniff… God, I’m lonely…\r\r
My family was destroyed when my father started drinking. ** Jubba**
\r\rOf everyone I know that’s died, the most common cause has been kids getting run over by drunk drivers. I haven’t gone a single year since Grade 8 without finding out that someone at my school’s been killed by a drunk driver.\r\rSince Grade 8. Grade 8 is Elementary School, for God’s sake. They’re freaking kids that don’t drink and they’re STILL dying because of alcohol.
Live I agree with you. I am quite anti-social not by choice but because I don’t have time. I have a large group of friends and am quite social with whom I chat over Instant Messenger (lame I know) but I prefer it to meeting in outside-of-school places. I am still in High School and I have never taken alcohol, smoked, drugs, etc. and I KNOW I never will in my future either. The peer pressure is intense though, but it is all a matter of standing up and saying NO. People will always make stupid comments about other people - usually because of a deep intense jealousy in that you are living a better life than they will ever imagine. Nothing bothers other people more than watching you live a CLEAN life and be HAPPY while they took the popular “MTV” route and are miserable. \r\rJubba, there will always be people out there who will mock you and ridicule you for any reason. I live by the words, “they know not what they do, forgive them of their sins” and continue on with my life in the way that suits me. The road less traveled is always the most painful road to take, but the end rewards will be far greater than any temporary satisfaction you may get from taking the path of despair and “I am gonna do what I want to do and no-one can tell me not to” attitude that many of todays people decide to take. The day people realize that their actions have consequences and that there are other people in this world besides themselves, the divorce rate in the country will drop significantly, respect will be based upon character and not upon who you blasted in a rap song, and the personal/world peace and harmony might become a reality. Alas, I do not see any of that happening (just look at the sales of Eminem’s latest album).\r\rIn conclusion, just be yourself Jubba. Ignore the comments made by the ignorant people around us. We may be the last generation of people who still believe in moral values and a deep-rooted sense of individualism. Too many people commit emotional suicide in an attempt to “fit in” or “be cool”. I am very religious (Christian), and I believe that all things happen for a reason and that good will ALWAYS prevail in the end. The path to the end will be stormy and rough, but you should not allow temporary setbacksy and annoyances to cloud your vision of how you want to live your life…once you have reached the end, you will be glad you made the right decision. I’m sure once you finish your graduate studies in archaeology & anthropology, get a job that you enjoy doing, and are happy with your life, you will be the one having the last laugh \r\rPhil, that’s the least I could’ve done for all the countless hours of time all of you must have put into helping write tutorials, helping people with questions on the forums, keeping me awake during my exams with the great/intellectual Princess Bride quotes thread, suggestions to improve the site, etc. =)\r\rCheers,\rKirupa
Jubba-\r Ditto’s to what was said above; Live YOUR life as though it were YOUR life alone. No one else has to give account for YOUR actions or reactions. If someone wants to be a dope smoking idiot, well, thats their choice and it is them that will pay the piper sooner or later. \r\rA good example that has already been known to you is my last girlfriend. Had sexx or fornication never occured, the relationship would have either fizzeled out by it’s own void of love and companionship, or we would have werked things through and been married. But it takes two to fornicate as you well know. :evil: So, in summary, all of that could have been avoided by my own self control. It was a hard lesson. \r\rJust be careful like Kirupa and Live said; They are correct in that limiting exposure to people, limits exposure to pain and needless suffering. There are a lot of werthless souls out there that have no compunction about drawing another into their web of sin and maliciousness. Your 19, and this will undoubtedly occur a few more times until you learn some value from experiences. When I was 19, I thought that everyone was as fair and decent as me, OR better. And I was very open with everyone and anyone. But thats because I didn’t know better. I do now. And it would seem as you have a good early start at this lesson as well. We love ya bud! A good proof is the excellent advice you have received from ‘strangers’ on a faraway boardland called Kirupa. Some great advice, and I mean great advice can be found by reading proverbs in the Old Testament. If you learn these principles, you will find yourself far from most situations like this. And Solomon (and some other writers) speak from their own terrible mistakes. Solomon had a sore weenie. 700 wives and 300 concubines, even though God had told Solomon not to be fer doing that. But Sol didn’t listen to God. Yet listen to what he has to say about a quarrelsome wife, who would know better than Solly? Also what he says about strangers is excellent in this case, proverbs is full of warnings about strangers. Guard your heart Jubba from all things, as it is the wellspring of life. I think that is proverbs 1 or 2. (w/o the Jubba) We should all get together for a union in alabama sometime. Maybe all go camping together. God would that be a riot!\r\rEven though your picture is STILL upside down…Hmmm. \rpj\r:p \rfellow nerd & supporter of all nerds everywhere\rPS-it’s kind of phunny, I watched the Revenge of the Nerds last night. Great movie. And the Nerds won!!! So take heart nerdboy! :lol:
Sounds like them girls are the ones who need to grow up Jeff.\rRise above it m8, life’s too short to be thinking about what others say about you!!\rAnd I am no longer a “dope smoking idiot” as phil puts it, so hopefully I’ll live a little longer \r\rGet that chin up Jubby, give us all a smile
Hey Phil, I thought it was Dickboy…Anyway, I would like to move on, and basically have. I mean its not a big deal, and I don’t care what they think about me, but I still don’t like people judging me before they know me, and I hate to be called names and stuff. It may sound juvenile, but that really gets me. I hate being called stupid, or gay, or anything that I am not. If I was stupid then hell, I wouldn’t be offended, but dam, I’m not anywhere close to stupid. Lazy as hell? Yes. Stupid? No. \r\rIts times like this when I wish I did believe in God and have a faith to lead me in the right direction, however I do not and I am on my own when it comes to these matters. I can’t trust in my faith to guide me, and I can’t pray for everything to turn out right. The only thing I have been able to do since I was young(er) was to follow my instinct, because thats all I had. \r\rThank you for all of you advice. I’m sorry for venting on you, but again you all helped. I’ll be better in a few days. I just need to go skateboard tomorrow and everything will be ok. Skateboarding fixes everything.
Glad to hear we could lend an assist.\r BTW-Faith can never guide anyone. Truth can. Just look for it, it is all around you, for in it we live and breath and have our existance. But you won’t see it unless you look, and you won’t look unless you know it’s there, and you won’t know its there unless someone tells ya its there. Truth never changes and also cannot be hidden. Just look around and think about it, as I am sure you will see the meaning of what I am saying. Anyways-go skateboard laddy and unwind yourself…(Said like Homers Dad on the Simpsons, cause Im geriatric @ 39) \r\rpj\r:p
Well its strange because my friend recently “found God” and become very religious, which is kool and all, but thats not “my thing” if you know what I mean. I don’t believe in God or anything like that. Actually, I’m not sure, I have mixed beliefs. Anyway…His faith guides him every day. And he used to be so stressed, however now he has no worries at all…its strange. Not something that would make me change my beliefs, just thought that was strange.\r\rPhil: You’re only 14 yrs younger than my father!
Jubs-\r Just remember, there is a technical difference bewteen ‘finding God’ and finding truth. In this world we have many Gods, and many lords… Budha, Mohammed, Stalin, Mao, Hari Krishna, yada. But in reality there is only one God and one Lord, the creator. Else he is a God of confusion. Just something to keep in mind, as I often looked at christian behaviors and was so turned off by them that I didn’t wanna have anything to do with whatever they had found. But those are things they imposed. One thing you can’t beat though is the clean conscience and lack of guilt for any and all sins, which is provided, and BTW, much needed by all of us, whether we know it yet or not. I don’t want to go any further than that, but just wanted to say it. If your open to truth, then God and his truth will find you. Thats all. \r\rpj\r:p \r
well hope you feel a bit better today Jubbs! tell your mom the irish put on a brave display against cameroon, final score 1-1
Ditto ditto ditto to most everything above… glad the venting is over with.\r\rIn a related story, I was threatened with rape charges for the night I lost my virginity. It’s never a pretty thing… I’m glad my mother was around to talk to (no unlike most mothers mine is actually very cool about sexual subjects). The best advantage any man has in that situation is lack of evidence.\r\rSay prove it. Say, I’d like my lawyer to see the pictures of your disrupted physiology, I’d like him to have the medical report which shows semen of mine anywhere on your person or personal effects. I’d like witnesses and a motive. If you’ve got all that then I’d like proof that you said “no”.\r\rAs for the pot issue, as an ex smoker who has been doing it for over a decade I can say that some people absolutely will develope a mental addiction to the substance. It’s nothing like cigs, but it’s there. It weighs on me even now and it’s been 3 months or so since my last puff of the stuff.\r\rThere is nothing wrong with being “straight edge” as long as you don’t discriminate against those who are not.\r\rThe best advice I saw above was this\r
That’s the key. Don’t talk to people. I’m not kidding, either. I meant it. If you want a good kid, raise them to be as anti-social as hell
\r\rThe fact is, as an intelligent person, you are at odds with 99% of the population. The very reason I can remain sane at all is that I simply do not see people. I have my own @#%$ to do, and if they’re too ignorant to see that what I’m doing is much more important than the latest back street boy’s single, or something equivilant in the insanity department… then I am HAPPY that they think me a geek. It means that they will not hang out with me, in turn taking me from what I choose to be doing with my time.\r\rFind ONE good woman, THREE good buds and hang on to 'em tight. That’s all you really need in life.
Big Dittos here as well. and it looks like we are all anti-social (our definition only applies) nerdonophobes-\r\rpj\r:p
The really funny thing is how social us anti socialites can be with each other. Goes to show… it’s not a desire to be alone, it’s a desire to be away from “them”.
er, phil how come you changed your name? I can no longer pm you now
Hey Simon-\r Im not sure. this is news to me. But I have switched servers and a whole bunch of stuff I wasn’t thinking about just went-‘poof’-And this is one of those Im sure…\r\remail: [email protected]\r\rMy corpustmail is down till tomorrow when I can change all the settings to my new server so reach me here for a few. Also leave your email in my box this time, I lost the first one, sorry, but wanted to return the last email you sent me but couldn’t. Good to see ya! Have ya made up with the beloved?\rDoh! \r\rDave, et al-\r I agree. It’s ‘them’ we are avoiding. And ‘they’ are all after ‘us’! But ya, I am real sociable but only around people I know I don’t have to watch my back. Friends watch out for each others backsides, and that allows the guard to go down.\rYour RIGHT again! We aint the nerds, just the minority. It’s ‘them’ that is the nerds. \r\rpj\r:p
yep phil, me and the wife are back to normal I do hate it when we row, which isn’t very often. I suppose it’s just the way things are from time to time.\rOn another note I did enjoy reading those articles you wrote, very interesting indeed. The sites looking good so keep it up and I wasn’t sure where you wanted me email so I’ll just leave it here for now [email protected] no spammers please! I get a huge amount of spam everyday you wouldn’t believe what crap I get sent. I think I signed up for far to many free stuff and everyone knows what happens when you sign up for freebies. I even put a very high junkbox filter on my mail account and the bastards still get through…\r\rBeautiful day here in England, I had to share that with you as it’s usually raining here. Gonna get me some rays!!
Dave: too true. It is strange. But I am an anti-social person. Always have been. But lately i have been trying to be a little more social, and, well, it backfired. So I am giong to go back to my anti-socialness. I have my girlfriend, my 4 buds, and then I have my 3 other buds that are females that can usually help and I can trust to be truthful to me. But thats pretty much all I have, and that is what makes me happy so I’m going to stick with that. \r\rSimon: Cheers to the weather, it finally stopped raining here. I was listening to the radio yesterday and the DJ said, “Welcome to Upstate New York; Home of the Skitzophrenic Weather” because it was, in the same hour: Sunny and Hot, Windy and Hail, and Cold and Rainy. All in one hour.\r\rPhil: The sites lookin great.