Some Holiday Cheer -- Proof that Santa Doesn't Exist

Below is mathematical proof that I ripped from another site, clearly proving that Santa Clause cannot exist.

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[font=Arial,Arial]1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen. [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since            Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist         children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million     according    to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate    of 3.5 children     per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes    there's at least   one  good child in each. [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different            time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east     to   west    (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per  second.      [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa            has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down     the    chimney,   fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents   under   the   tree, eat   whatever snacks have been left, get back up the   chimney,   get  back into the   sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming   that  each of these 91.8 million   stops are evenly distributed around the   earth  (which,  of course, we know  to be false but for the purposes of our  calculations    we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household,  a total    trip of 75-1/2 million  miles, not counting stops to do what most  of us  must  do at least once every  31 hours, plus feeding  and etc. [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000            times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest    man-     made   vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky    27.4  miles   per   second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles   per  hour.  [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming            that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2   pounds),        the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa,   who is invariably        described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer   can pull no  more     than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer"   (see point  #1) could     pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do  the job with  eight, or even    nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases   the payload  - not  even counting    the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430   tons. Again,  for comparison   - this   is four times the weight of the Queen  Elizabeth.  [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air            resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion  as   spacecrafts       re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer   will absorb      14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]Per second. [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]Each. [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.            Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06      times      greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously      slim)   would  be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds   of   force.  [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]In conclusion - [/font]

                                          [font=Arial,Arial]If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

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