A lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Dakota. He shot and dropped a
bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As
the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, “I shot a
duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming
over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I’m one of the best trial attorneys in
California and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take
everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we
settle disputes in North Dakota. We settle small disagreements like this
with the North Dakota Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What’s that?”
The farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first
I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back
and forth until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work
boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second
kick
to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The
barrister was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end
sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old
coot. Now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the
duck.”
