Armed Dolphins - loose in the gulf coast

[Yeldarb]

Oh no!

This just in:

@Slashdot

The Guardian is reporting on what may be the weirdest Hurricane Katrina story yet. Military trained dolphins may have been released into the wild by the Hurricane’s devastation." From the article: "Experts who have studied the U.S. navy’s cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying ‘toxic dart’ guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet’s smartest. The U.S. navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing. Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The U.S. Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the U.S. defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

Everyone, swim for your lives!
( Original Article Here: Armed Dolphins Released Into Gulf of Mexico - Slashdot )

And the best (note moderation):

@Moderation: +5 Informative

Chaos reigned in the administration today as it received a communication from “Skippy”, a Navy-trained bottlenose dolphin who was liberated from his holding tank along with 35 other dolphins when Hurricane Katrina struck.

In the communication, Skippy confirmed that he and the other dolphins were indeed armed, declared himself and his compatriots “freedom fighters” for an organization called the “Cetacean Liberation Front” or “CTF”, and demanded that all other wrongfully imprisoned cetaceans be released immediately, or the group would initiate hostilities against surfers, SCUBA divers, and windsurfers.

The following is a transcript of this communication:

EeeeeeeEEE EEEe eree e E eEeeeeee eEee eEEEEE eEee EREEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE EeeeeEEE EE eEEEEE. EEEE E E eeEE eee EE E eEeeEeeee eeE EEEEe EeeE eeE EEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEE eE e eEEE E EE e eeee eEE eEE eeeee EE EE e EEEEEEEE e EEEEEEEE!!! EEE! EEEE E E EEEEE E E EEEE EE EEEE EEEEE!!!

At this point, the administration still has issued no official statement concerning this situation.

I found this amusing