(apologies to all non-uk posters who probably haven’t a clue about this)
so i was just watching eastenders when i realised that not only does pat (butcher, evans, whatever) comfort every waif and stray on ‘the square’ but shes near enough related to EVERYONE!
let me demonstrate:
pat butcher-
married to frank butcher whos daughter janine was a prostitue and has probably slept with most of the ficticious walford (including ian-this will disturbe later, as janine is kinda related to him!).
ricki butcher, her husbands other son, once married sam mitchel- relations:-the rest of the mitchels and so the beals, watts’ and probably others.
and he married bianca jackson-relations:-the jacksons, who, via sonja, are also linked to the mitchels. also, via jim, they are related to dot, and so her infamous son, nick cotton.
pat wicks-
pats son, simon wicks, is ian beals son, stevens, real father and also had an affair with his wife. so that makes pat half grandma to ians children, and also, in an obsqure way, grandma to lauras unborn child…lauras childs father is supposedly gary who is related to the slaters (the actual father is paul, who is even more closely related to them)!
zoe slater nearly got married to the doc, anthony, who also screwed her mom, kat. little moe is married to…yes, billie mitchel!
as pat is related to ian this way, she is also related to his father-pete beal. somehow, i forget how, pauline is ians auntie and so pat is related to pauline and mark, and so martin=sonja, mark=lisa=mitchels, sharon=watts’=mitchels and vikki=watts.
pat evans-
this is where it gets really ****ed.
pat was married to roy, whos son, barry, was married to natalie. natalie has had 2 affairs with pats other half son, ricki!
pats somewhat related daughter type, janine, works with barry and is currently trying to move BACK into her, and pats, old house.
SO, natalie has actually ****ed 2 of pats sons…INCEST.
pat butcher-
pat butcher is related to the mitchels 2 ways.
her ex butcher man, frank, married peggie mitchel too!
so pat is actually distantly related to all of these families:
watts’, fowlers, mitchels, beals, slaters, evans’, butchers, jacksons, wicks’ and some others i dont care to mention
strange huh?
