General drunken boredness

1

im drunk and got bored and came on the net it just dawned on me there are well more americans or people who live in places where its like 6 oclock when its 2 in the morning here (UK)
but anyway no wonder it takes me longer to get a reply lol

later dudes

-Tom

2

I cant say i do i dont really pay much attention but if any1 does i wouldnt mind knowing a few i just dont wanna get in a brawl with americans

-Tom

3

You dirty wench, I’ll brawl you! :evil:

4

Interesting… Come one… I am an American and I shall bite your ankles off!

5

see what i mean i always get in fights

heres a few

What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
“Multilingual”.

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
“Bilingual”.

What do you call someone who speaks one language?
“An American”.

How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on “how funny-looking” local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don’t come out.

It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, “What is your opinion of American civilization?”

His reply: “I think it would be an excellent idea.”

dont hate me u asked for em so i had i think lol

-Tom

6

*Originally posted by novatake *
**It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, “What is your opinion of American civilization?”

His reply: “I think it would be an excellent idea.”
**

i love that one :stuck_out_tongue:
its so funny

cheers
:A+:

7

a few more

What’s the difference between Americans and the engines of the jets on which they travel abroad?

After they land, the engines of the jets quit whining.

Sign on the wall of the American Army Green Beret headquarters:
“If you kill for joy, you are a sadist.
If you kill for money, you are a mercenary.
If you kill for both of the above, you are a Green Beret.”

If God really bless USA - I would be an Atheist.

A French in Paris ask one tourist:

  • Do you want to hear one funny story about stupid Americans?
  • Hey, guy, I’M AMERICAN!
  • No problems, I can tell this story twice, if you don’t understand at first.

just a few more ill try and think up a few bout america itself coz i like the people really their all pretty cool

8

Two American tourists are driving through Wales. They notice a sign
for a place called Betws-y-Coed and decide to head there for something
to eat. As they make their way there they debate the pronunciation of
the town’s name.

They stop for lunch and as they stand at the counter, one tourist asks
the girl, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for
us?”

The girl nods.

“Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?”

The girl leans over the counter and says, “Burrrrrr-gerrrrrrrrr
Kinnnnnnnnngggggg.”