ok so lets say me as a designer, what may i want to do in the future with any of these languages.
PHP can make your site much easier to manage. Take this forum for example. It is written in PHP, and despite the thousands of topics, there is still only (about) 20 pages. This is because everything (user info, avatars, topics, etc) is pulled from a database.
You can even make it so that you can update your page just by entering some info in a page. That page will then update the database, and a new page will magically appear on your website.
is it something i could learn online or do i need a book? like a oho for dummies type a thing
Depends on how easy it is for you to learn, sometimes a book is neccessary if online material doesn’t help enough. That all depends on what you are more comfortable with.
PHP DOES require you have PHP installed on your server (or local machine if you just want to do PHP on your system), otherwise you can’t learn it since it is a server-side language that needs to be installed (same with ASP)