The Loyal Butler +

The Loyal Butler

There was this single, rich, highly physically endowed (attractive) young woman who owned a huge house. A strong, loyal butler worked for her and took care her house. One day she was invited to a party where a lot of other rich people were going to attend. She dressed up in her finest clothes which made her look quite tempting. Then she left that evening and told the butler that he could take the night off and to have fun. Since she would be away for a couple of hours at a party, she didn’t feel right making the butler clean up.
She soon arrived at the mansion where the party took place. She tried to intermingle with the people there, but all of them were really snobby and caught up in their wealth. She was not that type of person and found that she could not honestly hold any meaningful conversation with any of the snobs there and decided to leave early-- about 30 minutes into the party. Now she would have nothing to do for the rest of the evening and worried about being borred out of her mind. What would she do?
In her seductively stunning outfit, when she arrived at her home, she met her butler in the hallway. “Butler”, she said. “You are my loyal servant and will do anything I say, right?” He responds, “Yes my lady, I am your loyal butler.” So she says to him, “I want you to go upstairs to my bedroom and wait for me there.” He says “Yes ma’am” and quickly goes. She follows the muscular butler to the bedroom and slowly looks him up and down for a moment without saying a word. Then she says to him with a sweet, soft voice, “Will you please remove my coat.”
“Yes ma’am”
“Now I want you to remove my shoes”
“Yes ma’am”
“Now, loyal butler,” she says with a sparkle in her eyes, “now, please take off my silk blouse”
For a moment, the butler hesitated, but being the loyal butler that he was, did as she asked, “Uh…uh …yes ma’am.”
Now, with that same sweet, soft, desiring voice the attractive woman said “My loyal butler, please remove my skirt, now.”
“Uh, yes ma’am”
Then, from sweet, luscious, juicy, red lips, the woman asks, “Now my loyal butler who will serve me in whatever way I please, I want you to remove my bra.”
The butler kinda gagged and turned really red. He started stutterring and said, “uh, ur, …ye, ye, yes, m, mm, m ,ma’am,” and with slightly trembling hands, began to slowly remove her size 34-C bra.
Then with a sparkle in her deep, blue eyes, she softly utter the words into his ear, “Butler, I want you to reach down with your strong hands and gently take off my soft, satin panties.”
The butler, very nervous now and kinda trembling, responded, “Uh, uh, ya, ya ,yesss, m, ma, ma’am, I wa, wa, will do as you request.”
“My loyal butler”, she says firmly, “now I don’t ever want to catch you wearing any of my clothes again!”
“Yes, ma’am”

a guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only saran-wrap for shorts. the shrink says " well, i can clearly see you’re nuts!"

i went to buy some camoflague pants yesterday but i couldnt find any.

i bet the butcher $1 that he couldnt reach the meat on the top shelf and he replied " yer right, the steaks are too high!"

a man wakes up from surgery in the hospital and tells the doctor he cant feel his legs, the doctor replies " i know you cant, i cut off yer arms!"

a man takes his rottweiler to the vet and says " doc my dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do?" the doctor picks up the dog, looks at his eyes and then his teeth. doc says " i’m going to have to put him down!", man asks " why, cuz he’s cross-eyed?" doc says " no, its because he’s too heavy!"

apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are chinese. there are 5 people in my family, so its either my mom, dad, my older brother olin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu, but i still think its Coiln!

man walks into the doctors office and says “ive hurt my arm in several places” the doctor replies " well, dont go there anymore!"

Irelands worst air disaster occured earlier today when a small 2 seater Cessna crashed into a cemetary . Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb much higher as digging continues well into the night!

  1. If trees screamed, would we still cut them down? Well, maybe… if they screamed all the time for no apparent reason…

  2. Two blondes at the lake. One blondes wonders how the other blonde got on the other side of the lake.

The one blonde yells to the other, " HEY, HOW DO I GET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE?"

The blonde on the other side yells back, " YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE!"

  1. Blonde is driving in the country in her SUV and passes a wheat field in which another blonde is rowing in a canoe. Irate at the stupidity of the blonde in the canoe, the blonde in the SUV stops, gets out, and yells at the blonde in the canoe: “Hey you retard! It’s blondes like you that give all other blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d come out there and beat the crap outta you!”

  2. Your mamma’s so stupid, when she jumped out the window she went up.