The Point in Dating

While I know most of you are still in High School or younger, and during those years of life dating is really jsut about learning and experimmenting. Not jsut sexually, but learning human interaction skills.

Once you graduate from school or are living on your own, dating takes a new angle. And let me note I’m speaking about dating, not just looking for hook-ups.

My question is. What is the point of dating? To get to know someone better so as to marry them? What if you know when you meet them they aren’t who you want to marry? Why lead them on when you know you’re jsut going to break their heart sometime soon?

I don’t think you should date someone you don’t think you would want to spend the rest of your life with. That is the whole point of breaking up :wink:

You date to find out more about a person, to meet new people, possibly acquire new friends, and if it works out for you, something more than just friends.

But people have different views on dating. You have people who date for just sex, people who date for just money (courting can be an expensive task :hangover: ), and people who date to look for love. So technically, the answer to ‘what is the point of dating’ really all just depends on your own interpretation of it.

Though I can’t speak from experience. I get shot down before I even get a chance to date 99.9% of the time.

Well I at heart want to find someone to get married to and have kids. With that being said, I don’t think I’m ready to meet her yet. I still have a lot more time to live on my own.

I think that is the greatest confliction. I don’t want to settle down, but I don’t necessarily want to stay single either. I want the companionship of a relationship. Someone to spend time with, share intimacy with…

I think I’m just too much of a sweet romantic to just have a semi relaxed casual relationship. I say this without vanity, but any personal that dates me falls in love and I eventually have to break their hearts. I’ve tried doing the… I’m not looking for anything serious, but we can hang out thing, but at some point they always tell me they can’t go on like that and I have to end it.

So if I know I’ll break their heart soon enough, why bother going out with them? Maybe I can look at the positive side and say, it will be a few dates, months that they will get treated well and experience some great times… ?

Relationships are such a mess.

Well I’ll at least date ya first before I shoot you down :love:

but, dont you want a young wife? tis better to start dating now and looking for a wife while your young

Could I not find a young wife in 5 years? 10 Years?

Therein lies a conflict indeed.

You can decide to date as to explore your options. Or you can choose to wait until you are ready and think you do want to start looking for someone.

I personally waited. Gave myself some time to be single and figure out what it is I want, and now i’m out on ‘the prowl’ again…haha.

I dated a girl about a year ago, and my friend told me that if I can’t see this leading to marraige there is no point. I was nieve and thought, 'I’m 19! I don’t want to get married! that’s dumb!".
We broke up 6 months later, nothing gained, probably things lost. But I realized it was going nowhere and I couldn’t do that.
Now I’m sort of involved with this girl… well I’m GOING to ask her out haha…
but I feel more compatible with her. If she wanted to marry me, 10 years from now, I would say yes.
I figure dating is more about:

  1. you find someone you think might be ‘the one’
  2. you further the relationship, seeing if it’s leading in that direction
  3. break up or get married.

those three steps, I guess thats about it. Of course lostinbeta pointed out that others just want sex blah blah blah, but in the real sense I think that dating. Follow my three point plan and find the wife of your dreams! I should market this…

I dated a girl for about 2 years and to be honest I thought we were going to get married but looking back I’m glad we broke up. All we did was fight, fight, fight…and have sex. :hugegrin:

I can never start a conversation with a strange woman…every girlfriend I ever had came over and started talking to me. Once the conversation gets started I can chat away and be funny and intresting.
Anyway about 5 years ago I see this girl and she keeps looking at me. A friend of mine…well kind of a friend of mine…has gone over, drunk, and begun to talk to her. She’s not intrested but he’s real drunk and doesn’t notice. So casual as you like I walk over and say “If he’s bugging you I could have him killed”

I’ve been with that girl for 5 years now, we’ve lived together for 3 and we got engaged this year. My point is if you see an attractive girl don’t put it off because you don’t want to get married yet, you wanna stay single for now. These girls aren’t armed, it’s not gonna be waking up one morning with a gun to your head and a priest in the room. See where it goes first before thinking about this sort of thing. If you get into a relationship fearing what could happen, it’s doomed already.

I hate dating. Its all a ruse. And you’re right - whats the point? Well, there are your points. Getting laid and finding a life long partner. And as said earlier, when younger its about experimenting… or really, getting laid. That is your ambition in life when younger (at least for guys). That is until you hook up with a nympho and start to get sick of it (yes, it can happen). so then you get stuck in the same humdrum situation of meeting new people and taking them out in typical situational “dates” which are full of BS and smalltalk which usually amounts to nothing except whether or not you can tolerate this person enough to repeat the process yet again (assuming there’s nothing annoying about them which you can’t stand and wish never to experience again… STOP LAUGHING!) Then on to someone else… and the next person… and it becomes the same darn thing. I hate it.

… ok, I guess I have no answer… but dating sucks. I think, and this is just me and it may only work well for me, is that existing friends make the best partners. You already know them and like them enough to tolerate their presence. The best partner is also your best friend. Why not make a best friend your partner? The crux being of course that when its over it can ruin the initial friendship… but oh well. I’ve been having a tendency for doing that lately and I’ve been ok… so far. And thanks to my nympho friend I don’t feel like Im really missing out much in concentrating my efforts there.

bah! :crazy:

hey :mu: , I think you guys are categorising it a little bit too much.

There are no set channels when it comes to socialising and dating.

Gone are the days of dating / seeing / going out with.
I go for drinks with girls to get to know em better, maybe some one you have met out a few times but what to spk one on one. You ask em out for a drink (“a date” in old terms) this way you have their total attention and visa versa.

Its not ment to be a struggle or painful you are supposed to enjoy spending time together, if you dont like the time together then its the wrong person.

I think it gets easier as you get older, but just chill out be your self, see what happens it might lead to some thing might not, just relax. Man all that talk of marriage is a bit much take it as it comes small steps first.

I mean how many time do you have to go out with some one before you are officially seeing them, and how long do you have to be seeing some one before you are officially an item, its all bull crap there are no set guide lines just go with what feels right.

So i dont think “THE DATE” exists any more really. :afro:

And you go out with girls coz you like going out with girls. Thats the point!

**** you will know when you meet the right person, and untill then just have fun trying to find thet right one. be cool but be safe :afro: