The Top 12 Thoughts for 2004

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The Top 12 Thoughts for 2004

  1. Life is actually sexually transmitted.

  2. Being healthy is merely the slowest possible way for someone to
    die.

  3. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
    an erection, make him a sandwich!

  4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
    to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

  5. Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for anything,
    but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the
    stairs.

  6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying there in
    hospitals dying of nothing.

  7. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

  8. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
    attention to criticism.

  9. Why does a slight tax increase cost you hundreds of dollars while
    a substantial tax cut save you a few cents?

  10. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that
    the world really is weird, people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

  11. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. Have you
    ever noticed that it bears a very close resemblance to the first?

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR 2004:

  1. Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on
    expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years) and the government
    can’t seem to catch them. However, consider Blockbuster, for
    example. If you’re just two days late with a video rental, those
    people are all over you. Maybe we should put Blockbuster in charge
    of US immigration.