Arse

[system]

Welcome back Kit

Rimmer: My mind is so numb and brain-dead, I feel like I’ve just attended a 3 day seminar entitled ‘The Future of Plumbing’. Have you any idea how irritating you have just been? You’re a master, there are things you could teach to tropical skin diseases.

Oh btw Kit, read your PM!

• Soul :goatee:

[system]

<b>Kryten</b> “It’s the old, old story - droid meets droid, droid becomes chameleon, droid loses chameleon, chameleon turns into blob, droid gets blob back again. Blob meets blob, blob goes off with blob and droid loses blob, chameleon and droid. How many times have we seen that story?”

[SIZE=1]Curse work… So much to do so little time…[/SIZE]

[system]

Heh good one Kit

Holly: We have three realistic alternatives: (1) Sit here and get blown up, (2) Stand here and get blown up, (3) Jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up.

• Soul :goatee:

[system]

Dont mean to intrude on this but i thought you be interested to know that i am going to doing a presentation to the commisioning editor of red dwarf. Thats the guy that made it possible.

should be interesting meeting him. :tie:

[system]

I’ve got a better one…

<b>Justice Computer</b> “Would you describe the accused as a friend?”
<b>Lister</b> “No, I’d describe the accused as a git.”
<b>Justice Computer</b> “Are there no others who have shared moments of intimacy with him?”
<b>Lister</b> “Only one, but she’s got a puncture.”

[system]

lol good one Kit, don’t remember seeing that Episode, which was it?

• Soul :goatee:

[system]

It’s from series 4, called Justice… There’s a planet with a justice field in it, so everything you do comes back at you. There’s a mad simulant involved too. Rimmer gets locked up for killing the entire crew of Red Dwarf, and the rest of them have to get him out of it.

[system]

Lister: There’s got to be a way out. There hasn’t been a prison built that
could hold Derek Custer. Why don’t we scrape away this mortar here, slide one of these bricks out, then using a rope weaved from strands of this
hessian, rip up a kind of a pulley system so that when a guard comes in, using it as a trip wire, gets laid out, and we put Rimmer in the guard’s
uniform, he leads us out, we steal some swords, and fight our way back to the 'bug.
Kryten: Or we could use the teleporter.

:crazy:

• Soul :goatee:

[system]

Ahh yeh, I remember it now. I like that episode where they ar ein the virtual reality! Tis funny!

• Soul :goatee:

(…Its cold outside…)

[system]

<b>Lister</b> “And you can’t confuse Rimmer with a book, for a start, a book’s got a spine.”

[system]

So who knows where in the US one can see Red Dwarf. I don’t get BBC2… or even 1. I have a hundred stations… but nothing that plays such Brit humor. Can’t even catch old doctor who episodes. WHERE HAS ALL THE CULTURE GONE???

ah well… I’ll wait. Eventually I’ll get to see it.

[system]

I believe that Rev knows where you can catch it. He’s a big Red Dwarf fan.

[system]

Order the DVD or something David, its worth it

• Soul :goatee:

[system]

this should cheer you all up…

Its cold outside,
There’s no kind of atmosphere,
I’m all alone,
More or less.
Let me fly,
Far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie,
Shipwrecked and comotoase,
Drinking fresh,
Mango juice,
Goldfish shoals,
Nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.

mariofan

[system]

I can go one better…

<b>“Tongue Tied” lyrics</b> (complete smeg mix):

When I saw you for the first time (first time)
My knees began to quiver (quiver)
And I got a funny feeling (feeling)
In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system, baby)

My hands they started shaking (shaking)
My heart began a-thumping (boom boom boom)
My breakfast left my body (hooey hooey hooey)
It all really tells me something

Now girl you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied
Whenever you are near me (near me)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Whenever you’re in town (in town)
You make me feel a clown, girl

Yes, you make me tongue tongue (tied tied)
Tongue tied
Why can’t I tell you clearly (clearly)
Tied tied tongue tongue (tongue tied, tongue tied)
Whenever you’re around

I saw you across the dance floor (dancing)
I thought of birds and bees (reproductive system, baby)
But when I tried to speak to you (talk talk)
My tongue unraveled to my knees (flippity flippity flop)

I tried to say I love you (love you)
But it came out kind of wrong, girl (wrong, girl)
It sounded like nunubididoo (tongue tied)
Nuh-nuh-murni-nong-nurl

It’s cause you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied
Whenever you are near me (near me)
A-nurmi murmi (nurmi murmi)
Murmi nurmi (murmi nurmi)
Whenever you’re in town (in town)
My trousers they go brown, girl

Yes, you make me nongy-nangy (nangy-nongy)
Tongue tied
Why can’t I tell you clearly (clearly)
Bee-dobby durgle dobby durgle (Tongue tied, tongue tied)
Whenever you’re around

Oh I’m begging on my knees
Sweet, sweet darling listen please
Understand me when I say
Gur-durble diggle doggle niggle fauggle nibble nay

I’m trying to say I’m tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied
Whenever you are near me (near me)
A-nurmi murmi (nurmi murmi)
Murmi nurmi (murmi nurmi)
Whenever you’re in town (in town)
I feel so much I drown, girl

Yes, you make me nongy-nangy (nangy-nongy)
Ningy-nongy
Why can’t I tell you clearly (clearly)
Bee-dobby durgle (dobby durgle)
Durgle dobby (Durgle dobby)
Whenever you’re around (around)
Whenever you’re around, girl

[system]

Good morning everybody…

thanks for the laughs…

Long live the Dwarf!

Rev

[system]

Morning? I’m going to leave work for the day in a minute or two.

Thought you might appreciate the dwarfisms.