Lets say you are at a party, your with your girlfriend/boyfriend and you meet another couple, well lets say things start to go well between you and someone else’s boyfriend/girlfriend and its obvious that both of you are attracted to each other. So you start it off very well. So now you think that there might be more in to this than your current relationship. So it is okay to try out where this goes, or should they stay fateful despite the obvious better relations that *might *come out of this, should they take the risk and is it okay to do so? I mean, if a better relation ship might come out of it.
I understand, that it can be just a feeling for the moment of a better relation ship, but lets that it looks promising.
and what if she decides another guy is better and leaves you in the dust?
bad idea - always end the current one before pursuing another - and make sure its a legit reason too - and insert here everything else ive said on dating
never cheat anyone, there have been many ups and downs and distance and a lot of stuff u can imagine that can happen in an 18 yr old relationship…6 yrs back when she left to uk and i was stil at home…i dont know what it was…maybe distance, i felt weak and all and got involved with another girl, as a friend and all…but gave her wrong ideas intentionally, never told her about my loong relationship, lied on whn she asked, continued like that for a week. One night out of fraustration and guilt feeling i told this girl about my gf…thought i 'd rather do that before its way too late.
I hurt this girl and i also told the same thing to my gf and she was heart broken too…i had to do that becuase of the guilty feeling that was biting my head off inside, never really lied or hid anything from my gf…that was another reason, next 6 months were a complete mess, i never met or saw this new girl ever…my gf wanted to end this, agreed but was not really happening(does’nt really happen after this long u know) so itwas a painful phase of life for her and the new girl
just because of me, although i never touched this new girl and it was a good 2-3 days with her and then guilt feeling started kickin into my system…but none the less it was my mistake and they were hurt bad.
To hide one lie u have to lie 100 more times.Cheating is never good if you are really involved with someone…if its just for sex and all…one night stand and stuff…make sure both parties know theres no heart involved…as far as i am concerned i’d never get involved wth noone under any circumstances…been tested many times
So, what about not really cheating, what I mean is, what if the two people who might be intrested in a new realtionship, meet each other for coffee and what not to get to know each other, before deciding if breaking up their old relationships is the right thing.
i don’t think having a coffee or something like that is classified as cheating… you do have other friends besides your gf/bf, don’t you? there’s nothing wrong with having a coffee with somebody else then your partner
there is if it’s for the purpose of seeing if you should dump your partner for them.
If you’re not happy in a relationship then you should end it, rather than staying in a relationship for the security and perks, whilst looking for something better to come along.
The tough, but right, thing to do, is end it.
This is not talking about if you should end the current relationship or not, its about the option of exploring a possibility of a new one, to gain prespective on the old one, is that a bad thing?
oh, I see … kinda like test-driving a new car or plopping down on a few different recliners to see how they feel or to test their accessibility ? … :sigh:
The thing is, it seems obvious you don’t want to be with this girl for the long-term, so you should be honest about it and let her find someone who does, rather than stringing her along until you find another to move on to.
in the words of one M.Manson “I’m not in love, but I’m going to f*ck you 'til somebody better comes along”
i just don’t get it man, if you’re happy with your current relationship, just stay with her, what are you making a fuss about, in the beginning it al looks better and nicer and all when you meet someone else, but that won’t last, be happy with what you have, geez…
nice one jokun - if you think others would be better- try putting more effort into your current one -
meeting a girl just to have coffee isnt cheating -
meeting a girl to have have coffee to get to know her better because you think a relationship with her might be better than the one you currently have is cheating…
don’t take this the wrong way - but stop trying to hide behind a definition and be a man…
cheating is cheating and there’s no way around it.
what would you do if you found out your girl was having dinner with another guy to get to know him better because she thought he would be better than you?
Would you tell your current gf that you were going to have coffee with her?
Would you feel kinda weird telling her, since your intentions are to leave her, if all works out?
If you answered no to the first, but yes to the last, then you would be cheating. If your intent is to make the grass grow greener in someone else’s fields, then you first need to tidy up your yard, before you jump the fence.
My advice (you paid nothing for it, so ignore if you please):
Unless the relationship you are in isn’t in good shape, your current gf deserves the respect for you to at least talk to her about why you think a relationship with someone else would be better. One never knows, actually talking to her about this may make all the “issues” fall away, when she realizes she could lose you. Any less of an attempt to “correct” your current relationship is a slap to your current gf’s respect/honor, etc.
exactly…although i wouldn’t mention leaving her for another “girl” - i would address the issues from the standpoint of “this kinda stuff makes me want to leave”
however if you are thinking of cheating - i have to ask who is actually hurting the relationship - granted i’ve been in a relationship where the girl made me want to cheat but i never did, it eventually got to where I did mentally - i was no saint back then and even just mental cheating caused tons of trouble - sounds to me like you have to get your head straight RB, heart straight, then just talk to your gf in a respectful manner.
I think you need to find out why you want to see if it’ll be better with this other person. Are you willing to sacrifice your current relationship on the chance that the new one will be better? Because that’ll be what you do.
If you think that it’s worth the risk, then your current relationship probably isn’t that good. Then you need to decide if it can be made better of not.
If you don’t think that it can be made better, then it’s probably going to end one way or another. And then you can decide if you want to break it off now or start cheating and risk being caught.
People are different and I’m not going to say what’s right and wrong. Just think about what you do, why you do it and what the consequences for yourself and others will be. Both short and long term.
She would be cheating on her current b/f now, so what is to stop her in the future if/when you were to be her b/f? What would stop you from cheating later? This usually ends in an ugly fashion.
Someone on the other page said this already. It’s just plain simple man - if you’re looking for a better option that means you don’t have the best one. I mean if you are thinking of a possibility to have a better relationship than the one you have now, it means that your relationship is not perfect. I don’t know why you have this relationship in the first place, maybe just to spend time with someone, or maybe it was all good in the beginning but then you got bored, whatever, the main thing is that if some girl you meet at a party disturbes your relationship with your current girlfriend so easily then it means your relationship is f*cked up.
Now another option is it might be just a crush, a testosterone thing, whereas a real relationship involves more than just that, there has to be love, trust, care and other stuff.
BUT! the third option is if you just want to be a playa, then go for it!
I think that if just from meeting someone and not really knowing them you feel that there is the potential for a good relationship, then you are seeking a better realtionship then the one that you are already in. If you were comfy and cozy in your current relationship (even if it iss bad) then you would not be persuing the option of a new relationship.
I would say that it very well may back fire. If you decide that okay…I am going to split up with my girl because I am confused or I think this other option is better and you do it but then you are change your mind or dont like this new girl…I can almost garantee you that your old girl will not be running back to you with open arm. If you make a decision based on the assumption that this other girl may be better–it very well may backfire.
If you think that you want to get to know this girl better, then you shouldnt be with your girlfriend even if it turns into nothing, it is not fair to your current girl for you to be testing the waters to see what else is a better fit for you.
If your not into your girl…you should leave her before you hurt her. If you are into her then you should leave the other girl(s) alone…
