I’m leaving the lovely city of Boston to return for a while to my hometown in NJ. Although i love there (forests, rivers, deer, bear, wilderness) I really don’t feel like moving. There are some good things, but also some sad things. Like, I’ll miss my friends, but its cool, I’ll see them once in a while i hope. Mostly it’s like, I’ve been living alone for 3 years, and now I’m going back with the parents until August. I know it’s gonna be… annoying to some extent. also, this packing up bit, argh, i’m ready to throw everythign out i hate packign so much. i jsut helped my mom move her 8k tons of stuff two weeks ago and it’s too soon to have any energy to do it all over.
but that’s not really whats getting me down i think.
my whole life i’ve moved around so much that it’s retarted. i’ve lived in 11 places. it’s like, everytime i start to get settled, i move again. it’s unnerving. i don’t feel like anyplace is my home at this point, North Jersey is the most like it cuz i was there for the longest stretch, but it’s like… i belong nowhere. it’s taken so much out of me i dunno even where i want to be. and then comes august i’m moving again really far away to florida probably. for two years. for school. and then move again. i feel so frazzled, so disattached.
i have a few close friends in nj that i have contact with, but everyone else… it’s like they all go away. i’m jealous of people sometimes who have friends since they were little or a home to go to that they grew up in. i had a really big move just out of 8th grade, and we were so young at the time, i lost all of my childhood friends at that point. with no means of transportation for such a huge distance, and high school starting so your busy and changing, and going through a whole mess of personal stuff, and no way to call them cuz you cant afford the long distance bills, and no email at the time or any internet, you lose touch. it fizzled out. at least for me. i’m sure some ppl do it, but it’s a really hard thing. maybe i’m being stupid and whining.
sometimes i feel not jealous, but more fortunate because i’ve experienced so many different places, and gotten to know a lot about the world that some ppl my age don’t know or haven’t seen. but then i feel like i’m just kidding myself and trying to make myself feel better.
it’s just kinda hurting sometimes when i think about 20 years from now or 40 years when i want to visit home and reminisce. i have no place to do that at, unless i want to do a tour de US. hehe. but it wouldnt be worth it, there isnt anythign solid i feel like. i guess i have this idealized vision of one’s hometown like in the wonder years. which is dumb, because this is real life. but in real life, i see most of the people i know having it, so part of me is like, how unfair. it’s probably the only thing that i genuinely feel jealousy over.
meh, i’m sorry for whining to you guys, but i’m just uber down today and kirupa has always been good to me, so i’ll get it all out here.
I was the same way for quite a while. 13 different addresses in 7 years… Roommates ripped me off, so-called friends ended up being total asscracks…
Then I moved to San Francisco, met a few great people, and have sort of settled down. I haven’t moved in over 3 years…
I guess what I am saying, is that feeling of living out of a suitcase is just a phase. Now that phase may last 15 years, like it did for me, but it is still just a phase. I used it to travel, see a whole bunch of different cultures, and to become comfortable in my own skin (something I highly recommend to anyone).
You’re not alone, here’s a virtual hug…
:love:
Rev
well i really can’t relate to either of you guys, as ive lived in the same house my entire life, and ya know what i wish i didnt.
good luck Red youll be fine
lol… thanks you guys, you are great.
rev- :love: i’ll keep that in mind and hope for that
digital- lol, it’s reassuring to see the other side wanting soemthign diferent too
phil- hehehehehehehe, that shoudl become my new wallpaper. and the poetry was beautiful.
you guys made me cheer up a bit.
Yeah Red, I think you should look at things from a positive side. You’ve been to places, you’ve seen different faces… uhm… yeah, it’s gonna be alrite, don’t worry, be happy 
lol… i thought you were gonan burst into song… 
sometimes i have this romantic dreamy vision of a knight on a horse all alone, travelling towards his destiny, trying to enjoy the beauty along the way, making as many people happy as he can…
hehehehe
hahahahha, i love your inspirational pics phil :love:
i hate moving… I like the new place, just hate packing and un-packing of my crap… Good luck and have fun…
thanks
nah, ill be offline for the bulk of tomorrow, but tomorrow night i’ll be back online
ive seen that site b4, its quite funny
red, you will always have friends here:love:
:love: aww, thanks 
despair.com didn’t they trademark the 
emoticon?
Anyway happy moving, I do it all the time, military seems to like people moving all over the place.
WHAT!!! omg, thats INSANITY
Awww… (sheds tear for Gina)
I’m your friend
I haven’t myself experienced the feeling of moving away to a new “home” every few years or so, but I do know how it feels to lose contact and fall away from friends. It’s never easy having to start over, meet new people, make new friends … that much I know. I wish you all the best no matter where you are, or happen to be going.
I find it pretty funny how some people who always had a home can’t seem to wait to leave, and people who have always been moving about can’t wait to settle down in one place. Remember though, always … home is where the heart is. If you ever seem lost, look inside yourself and you’ll always find your way.
Remember this too - I’ll be here for ya 
Much love, toots :love:
tear… in eye… thanks magick, its good advice. i don’t have too much to say cuz im choked up… (good way)
and phil… im… what? hehehe, is it really free? so confused… hehe
ohhhh
FWN-001 $5.00Now Just $0.00
all i saw was the 5$ nto the 0$ part hehehe
Hey red, sorry to hear about all the frustration and stuff. I’m only 16 and I’ve lived in like 12 houses in 5 different states, so I know how much it sucks. :-/
Anyway, back to frownies
I’ve lived in the same house my entire life unfortunately… I really want to get out of this house. I don’t necessarily want to move very far away or anything, I just want out of the environment of living with my parents. Wisconsin does pretty much suck though :-. Good luck with the move though. (and RotK kicked arse for a 2nd time :D)
phil - i bought 999999 of them… maybe we should pool them, split them into thirds, take a third each, and then auction off the rest on ebay?