mainly: me.
if you don’t wanna hear a sob story, don’t read any further please.
ok, so here’s the thing. i’ve been on cloud 9 today. my best friend just got signed by Def Jam records, and is gonna be so famous it hurts. so i’m happy as hell for him.
also, i had this meeting today, and i just joined forces with this musician from cali. i’m gonna be doing an animation for a CD coming out, and he’s gonna be making custom music for a series i’m workin on and anything else i need. (and this is like grade A, top of the line music here). plus a cute guy took me out for a nice dinner on the lake. :beam: so as you can imagine, it’s been a wonderful day, and i was so flying high. PLUS, i’m going out on the boat tomorrow for an all day fishing trip.
well, i come home, and call my favorite person in the world (who is also the love of my life) to tell him all the good news and finalize plans for tomorrow. well. apparently he’s in a funk or something cuz he doesn’t seem very excited. so finally i ask if something’s wrong. and he’s like no… well… no. so i’m like, i KNOW something’s wrong, what is it. and he’s like, it’s nothing i can talk about. so i’m like, ok. and then i’m like, well is it something i did? and he’s like no. so i’m like, well, im worried about you. and hes like um, i forget what he said. anyway. i’m like, well are you ok? cuz i was just in a super good mood and now i’m not, cuz im worried. and he’s like, no its nothing i can talk about. and got curt with me. so then i was like ok, and he’s like call me in the morning, so im like ok bye.
and then i hung up.
and then like a minute later i called him back. and i was like, look, i don’t mean to pry, but you are my favorite person in the world, and you know that if you aren’t happy, i’m not. so is there anyway you can just tell me sort of what’s up? and he’s like no. and so i apologized, and said i didn’t mean to be nosy, and i was just sad now and worried. so he was like, call me tomorrow, and so i said ok, bye. and he din’t say bye and just hung up. so then i’m like, ok, sad cuz he’s sad, and worried cuz i don’t know whats going on, and pissed cuz he would not tell me anything full well knowing that i’m worried and won’t sleep good, and pissed at myself for callign him back cuz i think it was stupid. and now. ugh. im pissed. and sad.
so here. here’s where i need advise. cuz im so bad with this stuff sometimes. should i just not mention it ever again? or shoudl i ask him tomorrow whats up? i mean, obviously he doesn’t wanna talk about it. so instinct and common sense tells me not to push it and let him just be a guy or whatever. but then a part of me thinks i should mention it, cuz otherwise i’m just gonna have to stuff it and wonder. and oh man, you men are so confusing sometimes. cuz then, another part of me thinks he might want to tell me, but it’s hard, so i dunno what to do.
HOW STUPID am i being? oh god, i wish i was a guy. this girl stuff is bullcrap. why was i cursed with this brain? i think i should just let it go or something.
ya know, everything was going perfect. now it’s all unperfect. i hate imperfection.
