I am going through a very twisted, unique divorce.
The woman was an angel…
Like the type of chick that would leave a movie over a crude scene.
The last time I saw her at home, she was lying on the couch with dinner in the oven.
I had to run down the street to repair a PC.
When I got home, no wife!
The next and last time I saw her, she was in Police custody.
She had shaved her head, and went around town having sex with anyone who wanted her, then robbing them blind…
The Cops found everything from wallets to Military ID’s in her car.
Turns out she is Bipolar. I didn’t know…
This REALLY sucks!! I miss her so much, but logic tells me that I must let her go…
As a romantic and a sensitive man my heart feels for you bro.
That is one tough place to be in. I understand that even when she is better it will be hard to think about the things she did while “snapped.” Can someone ever really be cured of being bi-polar?
I would be there in whatever capacity I could for her. I would feel like you loved her once and that wouldn’t change if she became ill. And there was that thing about in sickness and in health, but you have to determine if you supporting her is going to tear you down as well.
Once again I am touched by your responses.
Please keep them coming as they help me keep going.
I own a small multimedia business and I really need motivation to get a new site up and start pulling customers…
BTW, I am through the crybaby what did I do wrong stage. I am slowly but surley building animosity.
I am a prisoner in my own home. All of her things are still here.
She is out of town on some vacation. I could not look at it any longer, so it is all in the garage.
I am not the type of person to be mean, but I feel as if she has convinced her family that I drove her nuts.
BUT the fact of the matter is that this is the 7th time she has been institutionalized. I had no idea! The first 6 times were prior to our meeting. That was her and her Mother’s little secret…
I gotta keep my cool, but do it without being walked on.
What are all of your methods of keeping your mind off of something?
If anyone has a client or small job that you would rather not mess with, please direct them my way… I am no guru, but because of all of you, I am no chump either…!
I went from having everything to counting change for smokes…
I can understand why she kept it a secret, but then at the same time she should have told you and given you the choice to get involved.
I don’t think you can hold what she did after she snapped against her as she was ill and didn’t know what she was doing.
So the question is can you forgive her for keeping it a secret in the first place ?
If you can forgive her then you have to ask yourself,
Do you love her enough to go through life with her knowing how difficult it might be for you?
Or would you rather leave her to fend for herself and you can start over with someone stable ?
I got screwed in the same manner by one girl, in that she kept a big secret that didn’t come out until after we had been dating for 6 months, living together for 4.
Had I known before hand, I would never have got involved, but after I found out I didn’t walk away….
Well not for 2 nightmare years………
And I spent another 2 years after this a prisoner in my own home in a state where I didn’t know a soul.
Unfortunately, there is only one choice.
This illness will never go away.
Seeing my wife in that cage, bald headed and laughing scared the hell out of me.
I have given all that I can give.
I have already forgiven her for horrible actions.
I want her to live a happy life…
But I cannot make her happy unless I am.
I have this fear of her now.
This was straight out of the theatre stuff.
If you truly love her, then I’d venture a sugestion that you try and see it though God puts us in situations that we have to deal with, even if we dont like it and it turns our world upside down. I cant even begin to imagine how you feel but trust God is looking out for you both. You will be in my prayers. God bless, and keep as informed.
Well then you have made you decision and need to move on.
Although I wish I never met my ex, I still think that it was an experience none the less. And I did grow from it. Life would be pretty boring without them.
I had no friends or relatives because I had moved interstate and knew no one.
I wasn’t working so I had nothing to get me out of the house, no one to speak too, and even if I wanted to go out I couldn’t because I had no money.
I would have been better off in prison, at least I would have had people to talk to and 3 meals a day.
I was in that rut for 2 years, if I hadn’t decided to go to university I would more than likely still be in that rut or killed myself by now.
It didn’t take long at uni to make a few friends and meet some girls, and as a student no one expects you to have any money so going out on the cheap was not an issue.
My advice to you would be find some friends if you don’t already have any. Sometimes being in a relationship you loose your mates because you’re always with her.
Go out and have fun and forget about her…
.
It may sound cold; you can spend 6months a year beating yourself up over it if you want. But then you’re just wasting more time on top of the 2.5 years that you have wasted already….
NOTE:
You may not feel you wasted 2.5 years……
But I know 5 years after I ended it with my ex….
I see it as I wasted 4years….
2 years with her, and 2 years in a rut after her….
I am not the type of person to be mean, but I feel as if she has convinced her family that I drove her nuts.
BUT the fact of the matter is that this is the 7th time she has been institutionalized. I had no idea! The first 6 times were prior to our meeting. That was her and her Mother’s little secret…
…erum… I think you can safely rule-out being responsible … I’d be pissed at the family for not being upfront - she onthe other hand is ill and they do not easily come to grips with the fact that there is anything wrong with them
tough decision for you man - love is a powerful thing tho, and sometimes we just have to bite the bullet we get and deal with it
the real test methinks is do you love her enough to tough-it-out ? … if not - kick rocks right on outta there.
Some things are un forgivable. The person you thought you knew is dead in a way and i think you should move on. One day she will get balanced out on medication but the kicker is once she feels she doesn’t need the pills she will stop taking them and go right back to crazy. My next door neighbour and childhood friend is bi polar. Every time he gets to a point where he will be fine he goes off his medication and down ward spirals. Nunmorus suicide attempts have left him a mess.
I’ve seen how it goes over a 10 year period and it isn’t pretty and will only get worse. Cut your loses and move on man. There are better less crazy and more trust worthy fish in the sea.
Im not saying any one here is wrong. but I find this dump-it-and-move-on atittude quite hard to understand, again im only speaking from what I understand here, so im not trying to put anyone out. It seems to me that in a situation when you get in a mess- and from what I see it isnt actualy here fault, we dont choose what sickness and deseases we suffer as I well know -the last thing she needs is for people to give up on her, I’d like to think that the people I trust and love would always be there for me, no matter what. I cant stress enough that I do not realy know what Jay is going through, its something your realy going to have to look at yourself and decide ask yourself, is there going to be a way through this? will there be a point when things are as they were? if yes, do you love her enough to work though it, how ever long it takes? if things are always going to be hard, again do you love her enough and are you strong enough to be there for her, if not then you probably need to look for closure on it. But to just say look for another girlfriend, or theres plenty more fish in the sea? Jay was married to this girl !!!
