Sintax: You hit the nail on the head bro. Sometimes, you must set your heart aside and think logically. It’s not about what I want… It is about what I need. One needs a spouse whom they can trust and confide in.
You all ask yourself if you could be married to someone that is this unstable.
I have done enough soul searching to realize that I want kids one day… I want them to be happy and healthy little people.
Yes, the descision has been made, but getting through it is the tough part. :sigh:
Faith, friends, music, and Kirupians I think will suffice.
Please ask any questions that you may have. This is a great outlet for me, because I do not feel like jumping back into the “scene” just yet. Although, my friends stay near. I keep in company of people as much as possible. You never realize what you gave up to be wed untill you go back and see.
I shed no more tears
Everything happens for a reason.
This puzzle will come together one day…
Yes, we have spoke on the phone like 3 times.
The first time she called, she was tripped out.
She kept saying “Who’s your’e Daddy”
She was cussing me pretty bad so I hung up instead of getting angry.
The second time, she wanted her bill info. so she could keep her credit straight.
The last time we spoke, I told her that she needed to come down and sign the divorce papers and get her things.
The divorce is uncontested, so her mental state nor charges against her will be addressed.
As soon as she comes back to Bama, gets her stuff and signs these **** papers, I will feel much better.
Sounds cold, BUT I gotta keep on moving. I work for NASA and times are stressful enough. I can’t lose my house. I gotta work like h3ll and hope that I can profit enough to keep my stuff…
Divorces are expensive!! Plus through this “mania” she completely waxed our bank account…
At this point all I can do is get this behind me and pray that she will be okay. In the future, I’m sure that we will become friends. But right now, I must deal with her as if we are enemies. I love the woman I married, but her other personalities are *****holes…
So Jay-em, have you talked to your ex lately? It sounds like everyone just assumes she doesn’t want to get better. Do you know this for yourself? A lot of times bi-polar people think there is nothing wrong with them and they can go long periods of time without having serious episodes. But, if the person wants to get help and stays on the treatment plan, they are able to live very successful lives - especially when they have awesome support from people that care about them.
Abandoning your wife may have been the worst thing you could have done to her. Not only did she have to face up to having a mental illness, but her entire life was destroyed and her husband kicked her to the curb. Bi-polar disorder is an illness. It is just very hard for people to understand that the mind can get sick just like the body can get sick. When the mind gets sick, and I mean REALLY sick, it’s like the person is no longer in control. The illness has taken over and all you can do is get that person in the safest situation possible - like a hospital. Compare bi-polar to cancer. When the cancer gets to the point of making the person REALLY sick, its like the person you know is no longer there. All you can see is a sick person in pain. That’s what it’s like with mental illness too. You shouldn’t fault her for her actions when she was manic Jay-em. Sounds like she did some really horrible things that she will probably need therapy for for years to come. There is hope for her and for you as well if you want it. It sounds like you two had a bond that seemed unbreakable and that a train smashed into your relationship and broke it anyway. What do you think about this Jay-em?
Admittedly, I don’t know the situation first-hand and we here on the forums only get what Jay-Em has given us. But I dont’ know that I would use phrases like “abandoning your wife” or “kicked to the curb”. I think he got extremely hurt by his wife’s actions. I think the need to separate himself from her and the situation is completely understandable and completely human. If she is able to overcome her illness and be who he believes her to be for even a few moments then she should first off apologize for her actions, explain herself - even if only to say that she acknowledges her sickness and that was the reason behind her actions, and request help. And if she needs him then to tell him that and ask him to help her through it. Then the ball would be in his court.
Just my thoughts though okay? Please don’t pound me for it! :puzzle:
Well, I see that the thread never fails to spark back up.
Thanks everyone for your support and kind words.
As far as “abandonment”, I am unsure how that assumption was created.
I was abandoned. My wife left me.
I am currently on an uprise for sure.
I have grown mentally and spiritually through this.
I have to say that yes, I love her. I always will.
Unfortunately, I could not contain her.
It was either let her go, or allow her to destroy me.
It was not an easy decision…But a very clear one.
Someone on this thread said it the best… “You have to WANT to get well”. Everything happens for a reason… EVERYTHING.
I pray for her everyday. I have not gathered enough courage to try to contact her yet, but the connection remains unbroken.
Honestly, I may never speak with her again…Only God knows.
From what I hear, all of the other times that she went through “episodes”, she had nothing to lose.
She was living with parents, and never experienced any penalty nor loss for her actions.
This time was a little different… She lost a caring husband, a great job, a wonderful home, and much more.
I truly believe that her suffering this loss will have a positive outcome.
This will make her WANT to be well.
God’s children shall be protected…
When I say God, please understand that this could be your Allah, Jesus, or whatever. God is God… So with that… over-and-out…
Not trying to go against what you are saying but as A person with bipolar what I loss unfortunatley makes it worse but I do agree that that will make her better in the end so I agree with you there, As for not talking to her ever again I would honestly disagree she cant very well get any better by herself she needs somebody wheather it is family,friends,etc. I know if I didnt get help from them I could be in a whole different world by now. I am not saying you have to get back together but simply saying that she isnt really responsible for it when mood swings occur you have no thought and dont think anything is wrong like I said before you really don’t need to get back together I completley agree with you there but at least help her through it everyone deserves a second chance. Sorry if I said anything offensive just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.
No, man you said nothing offensive. Right now, at this point I do not even know how to talk to her. I saw a different side of her. A very dark side. All macho BS aside, I am afraid of her (or them, or whatever).
This is a bit more complicated than a “hey what’s up”
phone call.
She has a wonderful, loving family that is taking care of her. I got an update today actually that she is ok.
“Bipolar” That is a term that someone made up… I don’t care who you are, one cannot argue that the human brain is a bit more complicated.
That term does not mean ONE thing. The illness that you have (and I am **very sorry ** by the way) and hers are two different animals. There are many details about this, of course…purposly left out.
I am sorry to hear that you have been branded “Bipolar” my friend. You will be in my prayers
[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=7]**
Jah lives!**[/SIZE][/COLOR]
>>>>> :snooze: JM :snooze: <<<<<<
[COLOR=DarkRed]((((( I like your Batman Av too, bro… :beam: ))))[/COLOR]
“she isnt really responsible for it when mood swings occur you have no thought and dont think anything is wrong” “everyone deserves a second chance”
Nicely put. It takes a whole network of people and an excellent team of professionals to support a bi-polar individual. Love and support from family, friends, support groups, husbands, wives, etc. is essential to the overall well being of that person. As far as the comments concerning the wife apologizing to jay-em, I have to wonder if she has done that. Has she jay-em? I would imagine a complete absence in communication from the husband would make it difficult.
I guess I just see it as a sign that he still cares about her and what happens to her because he is obtaining information. Its at least a step towards reconciliation don’t you think?
Possibly. When I posted earlier, I just happened to be typing at the same time as Jay-em and didn’t realize he’d gotten an update. I just hope it works out for the best. I feel that God can through curve balls at people for reasons we dont know. Maybe it is best that Jay-em and his wife got divorced. Who knows.
Everything has its purpose.
We shall find out.
Deep down, beyond her opal black eyes…lies an angel.
A child of God, the woman I love…
I do not look down on her.
A relationship of any kind is built on trust.
I cannot trust her…
Could any of you?
We will always be connected, we were joined as ONE.
I did not choose to give up, I was forced too.
[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=5]Thanks again Kirupians… Your words are appreciated.
ALL OF YOU[/SIZE][/COLOR]
I wouldn’t say they are two different animals as much as mine was recognized and gotten under control at a younger age as time progresses it gets worse. Nonetheless you as well will be in my prayers as well best of luck to you.
I hope you did not take that the wrong way my friend. I am glad that you got your condition under control at a young age. If she had done that, then the illness would not have turned into such dreadful things. What makes you two “different animals” is the fact that you were lucky enough to have loved ones smart enough to get you help… In her situation, it was hidden and pacified until it was simply too late.
[COLOR=DarkOrange][SIZE=4]Thanks for your prayers, and you hang in there VDaminator!![/SIZE][/COLOR]
