haha… wow… just wow
I didn’t get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn’t see anything, but every now and then you’d hear this rumbling noise go by.
theres 2 apples baking in the oven, one apple turns to the other and goes “Wow, its pretty hot in hre” The other apple replies" OMG! its a talking apple"
hey now, stop with the french stuff, im part french and proud ofit
dude… the footer I made you! what did you do to it??? you need to fix it man…
A disabled man in a wheelchair’s friend arrives at the house. The man in the wheelchair asks his friend to grab his slippers that are upstairs for him, so that they can go out for a roll-n-stroll.
The friend agrees, of course, and runs up the stairs to get the slippers.
When he gets there, he see’s the disabled man’s two stunningly beautiful twin daughters (of the age 18 or so) talking in their room.
“Hi girls.”
“Hi.”
“Your dad sent me up here to have sex with you.”
“**** off. He’d never do anything like that.”
“I’ll prove it,” the man said, stepping closer to the stairs. He yelled down to the disabled man…
“Both of them?”
“Yes, both of them, you idiot!”
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
I was the next door kid’s imaginary friend.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Even crime wouldn’t pay if the government ran it.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It’s A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain’t Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy’s Don’t Own It Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes … Well Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes … And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney …
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We’re Not Michigan
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl … It’s What’s For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
Washington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family … Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men … and the sheep are scared!!!
the potatoes are good…:*(
lavaboy, iput in exactly what you sia,d and htats how it came up
Whats better than putting a baby head first into a blender?
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Putting it in feet first to see the expression on its face.
*Originally posted by NaliWarCowZ *
**Whats better than putting a baby head first into a blender?
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Putting it in feet first to see the expression on its face. **
lol
that is really funny
A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband’s description. “Mother of six,” he would say, “Get me a beer!” “Hey mother of six, what’s for dinner tonight?” This type of situation persisted to a boiling point.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, “Hey mother of six, I think it’s time to go!” The wife seized the moment and shouted back, “I’ll be right with you – father of four!”
lol
makavelli so after all you do have sense of humor. i thought you didn’t. from your avatar and sig i thought you where a mad man
no J/K:P
tafeelee = a very dumb person
there are two tafeelees standing on a river bank but they are on the opposite side. so one tells the other hey how can i come the opposite side. other replies you idiot you are on the opposite side.
hehehehehehehe
how to keep a tafeelee busy - read the next line
how to keep a tafeelee busy - read the previous line
hahahahaha
a tafeelee opened an electronic store. so one day someone called and told him " my bell isn’t working can you come and fix it." so the tafeelee sadi i will be right there in 30 min" so the guy waits 4 hours and the tafeelee still did not come so he called and told the tafeelee “hey i have been waiting for 4 hours where are you” the tafeelee says “i came and rang the bell and nobody answered”
lol
tafeelee went to a pizza restuarant. so he ordered a medium pizaa. the waiter says “do you want me to cut it for you into 6 or 8 pieces” so the tafelee says “make it 6 i cant eat 8”
loooooool
now those jokes must crack you up just like they craked me up.
hehehehahahahaha
what do you do to a tafeelee to confuse him
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put him in a rounded room and tell him to sit in the corner
for more info about tafeelee ppl ask B-Dawg he knows everything about them
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain Abu Nawaf welcoming you to the Royal Jordanian ,We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather, and some overtime I had to put in at my Taxi.
This is flight 126 to Tunisia. Landing in Tunisia is not guaranteed, but We will end up somewhere in the West. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Royal Jordanian has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can Arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits!
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can Help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Tunis, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. There is no smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin Is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as Possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off And fasten your belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. For those of you, who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.!!!
Welcome on Board of the Royal Jordanian, hope you enjoy yur flight !!!"
I know it’s old but LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mouse?
elemouse?
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
elephantmousesin(theta)
what do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?
raf, what… that was very very confusing…
and for your joke… dinner
it’s an old physics joke…
